Alone Together. [An OM&M FanFic]

Chapter 34: A Show, A Bus, & A Panic Attack.

Hannah.

"Austin why do I have to go?! I changed my hair, I did the stupid excersize Aaron wanted us to do, so why keep pushing me?!" I shouted, my lungs hoarse. When was the last time I yelled, that night? If not, when? My voice cracked as I kept going, standing in the back lounge with Austin who was looking down at me with dissapointment that I couldn't stand.

"Please Hannah! I think It'll be fun, and I'm asking BECAUSE you changed your hair. You did amazing today! We all saw it, the flicker in your eyes! We just don't want that to fade." He sighed and dropped his hands to his sides.

"I need to take it slow.." I chomped down on my bottom lip to keep myself from raising my voice again and looked down at my feet, his stare making me self concious. "I can't just change over the course of a day and have everything go back to the way it was.."

Austin groaned, running a hand through his shirt hair aggravatedly. "I don't want things to go back to how they used to be, I mean.. I DO, but I know it never will. I just want you to be happy again is all." He threw his arms down and started pacing the room, not wanting to look at me with his pent up frustration.

I felt a pull at my heart strings and watched him pace up and down the small lounge, looking from the floor to the wall, and back again. I could taste metal in my mouth and knew I had bit through the skin of my cheek while I stood there awkwardly. I licked away the bitter taste in my mouth and closed the space between us, making him stop pacing, and wrapped my arms around him silently.

"I just want you to be happy again." He mumbled into the top of my hair, his arms tight around me and holding me still as stone in place.

I could feel his heart rate changing and his breathing shook in small, ragged takes and I knew he was crying. Was I emotionless to others now too? I blinked a few times, feeling something, like guilt maybe, squeeze my stomach and make me move in his arms, raising my chin to look up at his close face and rest my chin on his frame.

"I'll always be happy as long as I'm safe, here, with all of you." I whispered, reaching up and planting a sweet kiss on the corner of his chin, since that was all I could reach, and reached up one of my hands to coax away his tears. "Okay?"

He silently nodded, and kissed my forehead, making my tummy feel something else. What even? I fluttered my eyes and let out a gush of air, feeling better that the fight was over, I hoped.

----------

"We'll be back at eleven- thirty!" Alan called out to me as they all exited the bus and looked up to see me sitting on the top of the bus, looking up a the cloudy dark sky and feeling at ease, safe that my hideaway was just below me.

"Eleven- thirty?" Saying the time out loud made me sit up straight and get a creep down my spine. How funny is it, that someone can go from complete happiess and at total ease, to scared and anxious, with just a single word? I crawled over to the edge of the roof and looked down at them all standing in a group huddle. "Why so late?"

"Hanging out with the fans after of course! If we left early, we'd be cheating them out of their money!" He called back, standing there and lookikng up at me like he was waiting on something. "Why? Got somewhere you need to be?" He joked, making the others smile.

I shook my head stiffly and searched for Austin, hopeing he'd pop up and tell them otherwise, that they'd come back sooner and I wouldn't have to be alone from 7:30 - 11:30 at night. Nothing though.. Not a peep.