You can still feel the vending machine on your back. You can remember saying keep it professional and telling yourself not to tuck into the temptation but it got too much. Too good. And here you are loving again. Or are you hurting... You don't know...
I was getting ready before the award ceremony and I hoped that all the hard work and practice would be worth it in the performance. I slipped on my fitted red dress that came out towards the bottom and the top was cut low in a v connecting to slightly off the shoulder straps. The plain red dress was complimented by a diamond necklace around my neck. My makeup consisted of a black smokey eye and a nude lip. My hair was done all fricken beautiful.
"Wow... you look like a princess." Said Adeulian in a suit and tie. He looked hella handsome. I couldn't wait to take a seat with him as his date at the award ceremony. "Thanks, I suppose you clean up ok." I said giggling . He pulled me close to him ,laughing also (me still giggling) and looked at me with a laugh still coming out his mouth. "Can't you just say I look damn fine?" He said holding me tighter, chuckling. " If I said that, I would be lying and that's bad..." I laughed like a little child. "Right come on, skinny jeans." "I ain't wearing skinny jeans you washed up twerp! And I'm not ready yet..." "You look fine already!" He said coming closer , scooping me up and carrying me princess style. "Put me down you Microsoft X zero!" I screamed banging his chest laughing my head off. "Did you just call me a Microsoft X zero?" He said laughing making his way to the door way, with me in his arms. "God I love you." He said still laughing. "Oh shut it ! I'm still annoyed..." "Why you annoyed?" "MAYBE BECAUSE IM STILL ON YOUR BONY ASS CHEST!" I said now hysterically laughing. He carried on laughing and put me down in front of the door where I was about to walk out of and kissed me as I kissed back. • I watched as the fake ass shit picked up Skyla whilst she was laughing away. "Put me down you Microsoft X zero!" She said banging his chest laughing away. I chuckled to myself but lord I wish she could call me stupid names instead of him. "God I love you." He said. No, He lied. I had to walk away because I know his plan for tonight and it disgusted me.Tonight he is going to end it with Skyla at the after party, when his side chick shows up. I heard it all outside the door of the rehearsal room yesterday whilst he was waiting for Skyla. He was going to pay and he wasn't going to do this to her. I can't let him hurt her. I can't let the lying, cheat hurt her. • After posing for some photos with Adeulian I headed inside with him and sat at the table with my group and their dates. I didn't drink because I knew I was going on the stage in about an hour.Me, Adeulian and the other dates had a great laugh, joking, talking and even a bit of dancing when some acts were performing. "Excuse me, Skyla Beulluseu. Can we have a quick interview?" Asked a reporter who is sitting in the arena instead of on the red carpet. "Erm sure, but I have to get ready in like fifteen minutes so it will have to be quick." "No problem."
At the interview: "So Skyla, Adeulian huh?" Asked the reporter. "Oh haha yeahhhh." I replied giggling. "You know after that photo shoot with Tae..." my heart beat raised scared of what will come next. Do they... do they know? "Everyone has been wanting a certain ship to sail." The reporter continued. Praise lord Jesus! "Oh hahaha. Well I have my own ship with Adeulian and to me as long as we are happy you can ship me with who ever you want, just know I'm with Adeulian." "Ah but what if-" "Look I'm sorry but I've got to go. Enjoy your night." I cut the reporter short and walked back to my table. "Adeulian, I've got to go get ready see you later." I kissed him on the cheek and went back stage to the changing room. • I sat on my table with BTS. I have to say I was having a good time. "You know who's looking fine tonight..." said rapmonster. "Who?" I replied. "Skyla Beulluseu." He said back looking at her. "Jimin's lucky to perform with her." "She's got a boyfriend, idiot." Said Jimin listening to the conversation. "Yeah, a cheat." I mumbled under my breath. "What?" Asked jimin. "Doesn't ma-" "Boys you need to get ready!" Said our manager cutting me off. • Adeulian: My phone buzzed in my pocket. "Hey babe, when shall I come to the after party?" "10 ;-)." I replied back. "Can't wait!" "Same baby. Love you. xx" "Love you to. xx" I put my phone back in my pocket and watched the show. I don't want to hurt Skyla, she's sweet and hot, but I don't love her. Never did, never will... • I got changed into a "school uniform" and freshened up my makeup. The skirt was short with above the knee socks and black heels. I looked smexy as fuck. "Let's do this shit." I said to myself . I walked out the room and the- "Oh shit." I said as I walked into someone. I looked up and my eyes met Tae's . He just looked at me, opened his mouth and closed it again then walked away. For some reason it hurt that he didn't say a thing. • Skyla walked into me on my way to my dressing room. As soon as her eyes connected with mine. It was like the photo shoot all over again, I... I can't stand this. I was about to tell her. Tell her everything but I, I couldn't. Not when she is about to perform, not when she still looks happy. I walked into my dressing room and closed the door. I slid down the door resting the back of my head on the door before putting it in my hands, on my knees. I just can't stand it. • Ten minutes had past and I stood waiting with BTS minus Tae ,who was still getting ready , and my group. I was talking, when they announced Tae was ready and we are going on in five. I carried on talking with the group and so did Tae, just not with each other. Every now and then he would look my way but his eyes averted just as quick as they looked. My stomach tightened and relaxed when he looked and looked awa- "Your on guys, go get in your positions." A member of the crew instructed. I walked on stage and our group were in the middle of our song when the music went funny. On came BTS. Jimin wrapped his arms around my waist as I went around in a circle, from squat to standing. I danced harder than ever before with Jimin, our hands on each other dancing around whilst the remix continued. The girls were with the rest of the BTS crew. Tae...Tae was on his own in the middle dancing. However one at a time we had to fall into his arms then go back to our original partner. The dance director had to include him somehow, so I didn't object. • I tried to concentrate on my singing and dancing but it was hard. It was hard because she was right there. Right there! She was dancing and God she danced amazingly. I could hardly take my eyes away from her. The other girl fell on me and then jumped off I hardly payed attention just simply put my arms out whilst looking in Skyla's direction as discreetly as possible. Then...And then she fell in my arms. I lifted her towards my face and looked her directly in the eye but then she...pushed away. I watched as Jimin put his hand around her waist as they danced. I can't take this shit anymore! For fucks sake! I need her. I need her now! • I exited the stage after receiving a standing ovation! I walked back to the changing room where I got changed back into my dress and jewellery. "You did amazing." I turned around to see who it was and there stood Adeulian. "You scared me but thanks Adeu!" I said catching my breath after the fright. "Look I have to go to the after party at quatre to ten so I will see you there as it's already 9:30." He said looking at his watch. "Erm ok?" I replied hesitantly whilst turning around to slip on my original shoes. "But wh-" I couldn't finish my sentence because he was already gone. "Strange." I thought to my self before making my way back to the table. • I watched as Adeulian left her changing room heading out the doors whilst I stood in my door way. Five minuets later Skyla left back in the dress that looked so damn good like all the things she wore. I walked behind her. • "Skyla!" I turned around. "Tae? Just stop being weak. You said you would forget so just do it."I walked away to the table. An hour passed it so now it was ten thirty ish. I walked out of the arena and got into a limo for the half an hour drive. I walked in through the doors into the after party and searched for Adeulian. I asked people where he was and they all just said they all hadn't seen him whilst others just looked at me sympathetically. Wonder why? I carried on wandering round. "God this place is huge." I mumbled to your self. "Skyla!" "There you are Adeulian!" I said just as a Korean woman appeared behind him and stood next to him leaning on his shoulder. "Oh erm... who's that?" "That's my girlfriend, Skyla." "Ok, seriously who is it?" I said worryingly praying it's a sick joke. Crowds started to gather. "My girlfriend. She has been this whole time. I'm sorry but I just wanted fame." He said whilst the slut on his shoulder looked me up and down and kissed his cheek. "Wha- what? You said you loved me..." "I didn't mean it. I don't love you, never did and never will. I'm sorry Skyla." "Your sorry? Really? Yeah because as long as you say your sorry everything is fine!" I got more angry by the second. I was about to walk away. When the slut... That slag, poured wine on my god damn dress. I turned around and slapped her across the face. Tears stung at my eyes desperate to escape my water line. She stepped closer to me and slapped me back. I just leapt at her, tears falling down my face and mascara running. I punched her before Adeulian dragged me off of her. "Your making a fool out of yourself Skyla!" He said putting me in front of him. "No, you are just a fool! A STUPID, STUPID FOOL ! A CHEATING-" I tried saying whilst my breath shaked from my uncontrollable crying. "LOOK AT YOU SKYLA! Your a mess! YOU are the fool!" He said shouting. "I DONT THINK SO! I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH! GOD DAMN IT I HATE YOU! I - HATE YOU! I-I... I ha- hate... you." I could hardly speak from the crying and the lump in my throat. • I followed the noise of the shouting when I arrived at the after party. I was too late. "LOOK AT YOU SKYLA! Your a mess! YOU are the fool!" He said shouting. "I DONT THINK SO! I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH! GOD DAMN IT I HATE YOU! I - HATE YOU! I-I... I ha- hate... you." I could hear her voice shaking and her breath hitching. I pushed my way through the crowd. When I saw her. It broke my heart, mascara was running down her face and a red hand mark was on her face but the one on the girl next to Adeulian was a lot worst. Skylas dress was covered in wine and she was crying uncontrollably whilst Adeulian shouted at her saying about how much of an idiot she had been the whole time whilst she carried on screaming she hated him at the top of her lungs. The crowds had their phones out videoing.
I walked up to Skyla from behind and grabbed her wrist and running out the door still holding it. She was still crying whilst we ran out side. I found a gap in between two buildings. And pulled her into my chest whilst she cried. • Tae held me in his chest whilst the tears streamed down my face. We stood in the gap of the buildings whilst cameras went past but I just kept on crying.... because just like Jay and my dad, he lied and left. Adeulian left.I cried in Tae's arms. I calmed down after a few minuets and... and that's when I realised all this time he had been holding me, my heart raced. I looked up at him and he was looking at the wall behind me. How did I not realise. How did I not realise this whole time I had been hopelessly in love with Tae? I can't love him! I have to be professional. "Damn it Skyla." "Wha-what?" I replied voice still a bit shaky. "I can't forget." He said looking down at me. His grip loosened as he looked the other way. I went back and banged on his chest. "Don't be weak Tae. Please." He pushed me away, Looked at me and then pushed me against the opposite wall, his hands holding my hips. "Don't say that! Please don't say that! I am not being weak! SINCE WHEN WAS IT A WEAK THING TO BE IN LOVE?! Because Skyla, I love you. I'm sorry, but I really damn do." He held the sides of my face stroking my cheeks. "Why don't you hate me? Why can't you hate me?! If you hated me, I could keep my job the way I always planned it. Why can't you hate me!!" I said squeezing his shirt on his shoulder. "If I hated you... if I hated you , I would have nothing. I would just have a hole where you were meant to be. I can't hate you Skyla! I've tried damn hard to forget and not speak to you but I can't, it's impossible." He said lifting my chin with his thumb. "Skyla I can't hate you because I love you too damn much. And forgetting you just makes loving you hurt. Please, please don't make me hurt anymore. Just take the pain away Skyla." He said eyes shimmering as water filled his eyes. "Jay said he loved me, As well as Adeulian and I thought I loved them... I really thought I did but then you... you make me realise what a man is. And what loving a man is like... But-" "Don't say but. Just love me, Skyla. I've been staying away and forgetting for months but I can't do it anymore! So yes I should hate you, but I can't... I could never bring myself to hate you. You know I had in my mind my dream girl but then you came along and I realised what I always wished for was nothing like you. You weren't what I wished for but you are a whole lot more. I remember when I first saw you, I had to make you all mine, and I haven't stopped trying to make you mine since even when I tried to forget... because You are what I really want. What I want so damn much! I would never hurt you or leave you like Jay and Adeulian did! I would neve-" I went on my tip toes and kissed him half way through his sentence. All the volts of electricity that were missing with everyone else were right here the whole time and god I loved that spark. I loved Tae. "Can you please shut me up like that all the time?" He said, his forehead joined to mine. "Happily... If your lucky." I said giggling whilst he chuckled. "Is this where you walk away and leave me hanging?" He said as I took a step further away heading out of the gap. "No, this is where I walk away, with you."
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