Lifesaver »» l.p {AU} (Discontinued)

Note

**This note is old and was written before I changed up my story so some things may be different.**

This is going to be kinda long, but please hang in there. Okay so first, I would like to thank you all so much for all the reads/votes/comments/fans. It means the whole world to me! Everyday, many of you have put a smile on my face, and I can't thank you guys enough! You guys have really changed my life for the better :) 

With that said, I want to show you guys just how much you have really changed my life. Before Wattpad, I really didn't know how to handle my emotions. Two events have occurred in my life that have really destroyed me. The first was the death of my youngest brother. 

Four years ago on September 8th, my brother Michael died from a heat stroke. I can't explain how painful it is to watch someone you love to the ends of the earth slip right through your fingers, knowing there's nothing you can do to help them. When he left, I didn't know what to do anymore. He was my other half, my best friend and he was gone in the blink of an eye. I blame myself for it everyday. If I had been there for him like I should have been, he would be here with me. I just wish I could hold him one more time and tell him how much I love him. God I'm crying now just thinking about it... back on topic. I didn't know how to handle his death. I tried holding it in, writing in a journal, and talking about it, but nothing fully helped. When I was finally coming to terms with it (which took a really long time) it was about two and a half years later. Then the second event happened to me. I was sexually assaulted.  

This is really difficult for me to talk about. This was one thing that I never thought would happen to a small town girl like me, but it did. Long story short: July 28th 2012, a guy that I had just met that night, put his hands in places on my body where they should not have been (except down south). I remember the next morning feeling so disgusted with not only him, but with myself as well. I hated myself for letting him do that. At the time, my mind froze. I didn't know what to do. At first I didn't tell anyone. I didn't want to tell my family because I was afraid they would just judge me and be disappointed in me, and I was getting enough of that from myself, so I kept to myself. I went to sleep every night crying myself to sleep and woke up crying every morning from the nightmares I used to have. Then the bad thoughts started to creep in, telling me how much better it would be to just end it all. That's when I gave in and finally told someone. I told my best friend Kyle and he was the biggest help to me, but he could never fully help me. Just like the death of my brother I tried to do everything I could do to possibly try and help myself but still nothing worked. But then I found Wattpad. 

I'm sure most of you are wondering why I'm talking about all of this stuff in an authors note in my book. Well its because Julina goes through a life very similar to mine. Her family is broken just like mine is without my brother. Julina's first day of college was almost exactly like my first day. All of the feelings and emotions she feels are how I felt at different points in my life. Niall represents my best friend Kyle. Harry represents a guy I met my first week of college. Liam is based on a guy that I had a little crush on. Louis represents all bullies out there. I feel like I went off topic again.... 

The main reason for this note is if I never found Wattpad, I would have never thought to turn my diary/journal into a story. And if it wasn't for you guys, I wouldn't have continued to write and I would be back down to square one. I haven't thought of ending things, and I haven't cried in a long time. You guys have brought me to a better place, and have kept me motivated to continue writing. I can't thank you guys enough!! I'm so happy that I can be here today to tell you guys this. I'm here because of you guys! I love you all soooooo much!!! This is for all you wonderfully amazayn people here on Wattpad! Stay beautiful guys!! <3

~Stephanie :)