Review: The Royal Orphan (≧▽≦)/

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(^-^*)/(^-^*)/(^-^*)/  I'm pretty sure this is the third review I've done today... I guess you could call it holiday spirit? 

*pft* I'm a scrooge. I have no holiday spirit. 

But it's Christmas Day so I guess I'll use that as an excuse to give so many reviews XD

Who is this admin? Do you need to ask? You can always tell by my lovely kaomojis~ 

 __φ(..) anyways it's mjfillet. Let's get the ball rolling here.

Title: The Royal Orphan (By the way, you have it capitalized on the cover, but not in the official title. That's really important so please fix that.)

Author: Littlepinkbeast

Cover: It's pretty good. I think you could have a better one, maybe something more than just a girl posing for a model pic or something, but it's not bad as a start off cover. ^_^

Description: I would get rid of the first line/question thing.  You'll really draw readers in by the other paragraph you have set up. It's really  interesting. The description is awesome. 

Grammar: ...

*lets out sigh* Your grammar needs a lot of work. There are many things I could point out, but I think you'll get the best help if you find an editor through the club threads. Or maybe if you come across someone's profile who is advertising editing services, please take them up on that. 

Also, you tend to clump things into giant paragraphs, so I would try to find ways to split it up so that it's not so hard to follow. 

Plot: I had great expectations from the summary/description, but the story seemed hard to follow. I'm not sure if it is your writing style, or just the scenes you currently have in the story. You had it start of really good and interesting; like she was having this intense dream/nightmare thing, but then everything was not that great after that. The dream caught the readers attention, but everything after that, I was doing my best not to skim. I suggest going to the critique thread and getting someone to help you out thoroughly with your work; all I'm doing is giving a brief review but I think someone from there should hopefully help point things out better to improve your story. 

Characters: I wasn't given much information about the characters. I mean the description told me more about the character than the 3 chapters I read. To me anyways. In the description I saw her as more than stubborn. Like a silent, defiant person. I was so drawn in by her thought process there... 

Note to add: I believe you have a great idea and that this story has great potential, but your grammar errors and hard-to-follow writing make things seem blurry. I think if you get a few people to walk you through things, you can make this story better. 

I'm sorry if this was not the kind of review you were looking for, but I am being honest. I wish you luck with your story and I did my best to give suggestions to help make it better. ^_^

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