Review: Deadly love

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Title: Deadly Love

Author: hrdcorewriter432

Genre: vampy vampy (aka vampire ^~^)

Reviewer? Pshhhhh it's me again. It's Carl. Did ya miss me °u°?

Okay, time to get down n' dirty. Vampire isn't my favourite, besides Twilight, so sorry if again I come across as rude. I'm just brutally honest.

Cover: 4/10

With me being generous here, I give you a four point zero out of ten not because of the cover itself, but because of the era the characters are in. This story seems modern--- why are the cover characters dressed older styled? There's also the fact that your font and writing on the cover doesn't blend well with the cover itself.

Description: 6/10

Your description was okay. Honestly, it could be better if you lengthened it out a bit, but besides that it seems fine. I would also suggest checking for grammatical errors, but we're getting into that right now ^~^

Grammar and Punctuation: 2/10

I HIGHLY suggest you get an editor. Your grammar, sadly, is horrid. I bore through many missing puncuations and uncapitalized letters throughout the story. You could most likely go back and fix these errors yourself if you wish so.

Characters: 3/10

I'm sorry but as your character Skyler so easily seemed to point out, your characters are very Twilight-like. Sure, they seem to have a bit of their own quirks and ignorance but it doesm't change anything--- they're very ununique, unfortunately, in some areas.

Plot:

As I previously stated, your plot seems to follow a line so many other Wattpad books and Hollywood movies and shows follow;

- the girl moves to a new school

- the vampire is at said school

- she has good smelling blood

- they fall in love

I would suggest adding your own personal twists to that plotline if you so wish, but yet it will still seem so unoriginal. I'm sorry about that though!

Overall: 4.5/10

I think if you got an editor and fixed the plot line a bit, this story could and WOULD skyrocket out of proportion! It's just that right now you're at a pre-writing state where you most likely just skim your chapters before posting them (I'm not one to judge, ha ha.)

Good luck on your story!!! ^~^

- Carl
         


      

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