Review done by: 123itsmeee
Author: JonathanSolis94
Title: Re:Start Volume 1- In the Beginning
Genre: Fantasy
Cover - 1/10
I'm sorry, I really didn't think it was eye catching enough. I'm also not sure how the picture relates to your story. I would suggest requesting a cover from a graphic group or cover book.
Description 5/10
You are very descriptive; maybe too descriptive. I think you need to find the right balance of what needs in depth description and what doesn't. Sometimes, simple and quick details are just as effective.
Grammar and Punctuation 6/10
You use very long sentences. These aren't necessarily always broken up by punctuation; this is a big no, no. If sentences are a mouthful; readers will be less inclined to carry on reading. It stops the flow and distracts from the story line. You need to work on this.
Overall 2/10
It needs work. It shouldn't take me 42 minutes to read one chapter and I read fast. You are forcing to many things into one chapter and its not going to attract any readers. You need to break it down and think about what needs to be in a chapter. At most, ideally your book should have between 2000-3000 words per chapter and no more. I would aim for the 2500 mark, as that's a nice and manageable amount.
I would also think about how you would describe things in everyday life; if it doesn't take you 5 minutes to describe scenery, it shouldn't in your book.
The first chapter should also grab your attention; this didn't. Your whole book was more of a monologue than a story. I found it hard to understand at times because sometimes, the descriptions didn't relate to the topic at hand.
I think you have good ideas and are a promising writer, you just need work. But don't worry; we all do.
Things to work on: Punctuation, length of chapter, descriptions.
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