Helping to Unite Differences OPEN

Review: Unchosen

Hello there senpais and senpapis!
Author: Canislupus54 Title: The Unchosen Genre: Fantasy

Cover Creator: mahana258

Who’s Reviewing My Book? It’s meeeeee! _Carl_The_Llama_

Let’s do this! I’m sorry if I come off as a bit rude, it’s an issue I come across often, so please note this was not made to be rude or mean, but more helpful ^-^

Cover: 5/10 Okay, this cover was amazing. The five points I did give were for the graphics; it was obviously very well made, but yet it’s blurry. The words and the graphics both are extremely blurry as a cover, and I would suggest fixing this. Also, how, really, does it fit into the story after the Selection?

Description: 6/10 Honestly, the description was a bit too short. It does tell the necessary information of your story, but I would suggest lengthening it out at least a little longer.

Grammar and Punctuation: 9/10 Your grammar and punctuation was almost perfect! Good job ^~^! I saw barely any issues with your grammar, besides the rare occurrence of a missing period or a capitalized letter out of place supposed to be, such as in this situation; “Sousuke!” said a female voice from the outside of the door, “hurry up, today’s the big day!” When really, this part should be fixed like this; “Sousuke!” A female voice said from outside the door, “Hurry up, today’s the big day!” A large difference in there ^-^

Characters: 4/10 Okay, okay. Don’t hate me, alright? Your characters were obviously well thought out, but, from the bit I’ve read from the story, they’ve got odd thinking processes, such as how they accept Luma so quickly. It’s sort of odd how easily they suggest she joins the group even though she attempts to kill not only a character, but the main character, who also happens to be best friends with the acceptors?

Plot: 9/10 You have a good plot building up! Though the story seems to be moving very quickly between chapters, you did do a very good job at thinking out a plot. I just wish you would lengthen out the story a bit between chapters.

Overall: 8.25/10 Yes, I did do the math for that ^-^ It’s a overall good book, if you’d fix the few errors and think over your characters a bit, this would probably be really worth continuing. Good job on your story, and I hope you continue it, because you’ve really got the talent to do it!