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7. ~Better the Devil you know~

"Kevin, I'm fine. I swear, you can leave" we are talking over the phone, since he's took the security job to himself and is parked in front of my gate."You'll look like a stalker"
"Okay, fine" he's laughing.

"Good night" I'm hanging up and I'm pushing my phone in my pocket. The second day of hanging out with Kevin has me feeling a little better because he listens and we talk, which leaves Brenda alone and I feel a bit guilty, but she assured me that she actually enjoys watching movies and taking walks in my back yard.

I have now decided to just let the air fill my nostrils, I'm not blocking what feels natural to me. Although it's  hard because it also feels unnatural to me and it feels like I'm keeping out something or keeping it , like I'm keeping this part of me locked.

I'm walking in and I'm forced to adjust to the dark. Immediately my heart it's starting to pick up in a rate that's making my heart heart hammer against my chest, my palms are starting to sweat and even as I'm reaching for the light switch I already know this smell and the smell is heavy. I really wish my Father would tell me why I can smell them or what to do right now.

The light refuses to turn on and my hands are shaky.

"Brenda!" my voice is shaky and I'm taking small steps, but I already know they know I'm here and I have no upper hand and I know this scent.

"Brenda"

The lights are off in the kitchen and I already know it too much that I'm ready to reach the first drawer and pull out a knife.

"Don't even think about it" her voice has me backing away and I know she's behind me, I'm turning around slowly and something in me is starting to burn.

It feels like my feet are in the air, like I'm slowly falling and my head is spinning. I'm slipping and this  fall is one that should hurt, but it doesn't and I don't know why , but I want to close my eyes and I know one of them is doing this to me. I want to fight it off , but my body is so numb I can't move and it's like I'm stuck in this slow moment of nothing. I guess this is how you feel when you're high, but I'm not.

This is not affecting my brain, it's just my body and it's not responding to it's screams.

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I have been this way for an hour. Her effect loosens and I'm adjusting to everything, I'm in my living room and they are here. Sitting around me and ...

"Brenda!" I'm running towards my best friend who looks almost unconscious.

"Brenda?" I'm tilting her face up so she can face me.

"You're alive" I'm throwing my self at her and she's giving me a warm hug.

"I'm hard to kill " she's smiling.

"We didn't try to kill you" he's saying while  fixing his glasses.

It's pretty obvious that they are here for something.
"Cindiey, I don't want to hurt you. I just want to ask a few questions" he looks pained by what he's saying.

I'm breathing in and out nervously. It seems I have missed judged them and I feel stupid that I could possibly think they were different,nicer even.

"Look, Jonathan is trying to be nice. I don't give a damn! " the girl is saying coldly.

"Cindiey, this is a very sharp knife....if you're lying, you'll hurt yourself" Jonathan now looks calm as he hands me this knife.

I'm holding it, I don't know why. I'm holding it tightly, my hand is trembling as it is slowly moving towards my thigh and stops, it just leaves half an inch of space between my knife and my thigh.