~•ENDANGERED •~

11. Girl.

I have nothing in me to fight what threatens to take my dreams away and no matter how hard I tell my self that something better will come out of this I know better.

I'm deafeted, I'm drained and empty, I feel for him and mostly I just hate the fact that my mind can't stop to play his voice over and over again, this man that I think hate because I know he's taking my dreams away and I can't help but feel used.

He's so close to me, too close. He's not saying anything and to be honest, that's better, because if he opens his mouth I'll drown him in his own blood. I can feel my hands heat up as they are shaking on my lap and I'm praying he doesn't notice or open his mouth, because I'm going to hurt me.

It's your nature. My heart rate is picking up and I'm sweating, it's like something in me wants to escape and I'm keeping it away , I can feel the turmoil in me taking over. Taking over.

You're not ordinary. You're not like Brenda, let it out.

"Are you okay?" he clearly doesn't care but he's asking anyway.

I wish I could hurt just him, but my own body won't allow it. This is a cruel curse and I think I'm the only one reacting to him , I don't do anything to him.

Walking out of this car feels good until his hand touches my shoulder. His hand causes me to almost fall , but he's catching me and it's just a quick second.

For just that send his eyes showed concerned until his emotionless face returned and he helped me to my feet.

I have wondered why I never got the attention Brenda had, boys chasing me and acting foolish in front of me. That chance is gone now and it's because of him, because of that book.

"Let me go" I'm saying in a dangerously low tone.

"You don't look too good" he's saying calmly, he's looking at me up and down.

"I'm fine" I'm pulling away from his grip and rushing up the drive way.

He is following me and catching up with me, because I can't hurry because the energy I have is enough to just take me to the door.

"Cindiey, you're not okay" he's standing in front of me.

I'm pushing him aside and opening the door, walking in to the cool house and ...

"Jason" her voice is like song, a sweet melody for a second at least. Then I'm clenching both of my fists when I realise who she is, not because I'm jelouse of her, but because I'm angry at my self for reacting to Jason this way and wishing to kill him.

"Kate" a smile grows in his face. An actual smile.

"You look tired" her arms wrapped around his neck in an intimate gesture and I feel like I'm intruding.

Her hair is brighter and more blond than Brenda and Jen's hair combined, her eyes are the colour of hot honey and her lips are wide and full.

"I'm Katherine, Kate" she's smiling at me.

"I'm Cindiey, nice to meet you" I'm smiling back, but her smile is disappearing.

"How old are you?" she's trying to be nice by smiling I can tell.

"Nineteen" I'm saying nervously.

"A child? Well, Cindiey I heard a lot about you" she's being defensive.

"Oh" that's all I manage to say. I can feel my body slightly give out, my throat drying and my eyesight slightly being disloyal to me. My body is telling me something and I can't seem to grip what's it saying, it's like it's clashing with something or someone.