~•ENDANGERED •~

15. Getting closer.

It's been two days and I can tell it's on his mind, but I'm nervous to ask because he looks a bit scary today and I'm sure he doesn't want to talk, no one talked to him today.

He's sitting there with that thing and looks more nervous than he has ever dared to show this week I have gotten him to know him. His eyes are focused on the floor and he looks different in a tie.

"Why are you nervous?" I'm making him lift his head. He actually looks handsome in this check red and blue shirt and navy tie, it hugs the muscles on his arms and makes his hair seem darker.

"I'm meeting my Father" he is surprisingly answering me.

"Oh" I'm fiddling with the strap of my leather bag.

"Anything else?" he's eyeing me up and down.

"Uhm.. No, just worried. It's nothing" I'm saying nervously.

"Don't worry about me, worry about you and Brenda...this thing will be signed" he is digging his cold eyes into me, this side of him terrifies me. He makes me nervous.

"Bye" my voice has a low tone that shows that I'm hurt by him and this makes me angry.

I need time to think.

My feet carry me to the door I haven't yet opened in a while and my heart causes me turn back, because I can't get my self to open the door. I can't get my self to go inside and picture what used to be, what I wish could have never been and mostly that room will just remind me of why I should leave, it'll be a reason to shut Jason out and pack my things leaving early.

Maybe taking a few deep breaths will give me the courage, maybe I'll finally get closure and move on, maybe saying goodbye to that idea will be what I need. What will set free whatever Jason said I was running from and my self.

Jason. It has been a few days and yet it's like I have known him for more than that or he has known me more than I think. His face never lets me sleep,his smile and eyes keep me up at night and have me wondering about how it would feel to kiss him, to have his arms around me longer than usual and to be wrapped around his scent. I don't know how this can't be called more than a curse, because Jason is what will drive me to edge and have me addicted to his taste and that laugh of his. I can feel him in ways I have never been connected to anyone before, it's like he wants me to get close but keep me at a distance at the same time. All his habits, these little things he likes to do.

Like how he can't go without coffee and can't be in his car and not have a mint Tictac or how the only thing he reads is a newspaper, but mostly what I'll enjoy mostly is breaking down his thick walls and finding the real him, the one he only shows to me. The one I want to kiss.

My head is resting against the door, my face is bright with a smile and his smell is just a slightly fading memory, because he has been avoiding me for the last two days.

"You look weird smiling with your self" his voice is only making me grin more.

"I'm just happy about something" I'm saying.

"Obviously" his walking towards me and my heart is beginning again, it's so loud I'm sure anyone can hear it. It sounds so close to my ear, too close.

"Aren't you going to be late for work?" I'm teasing.

"It...I was going to meet my Father and  he just cancelled...he uhm...he asked to ...he wants to talk to Jonathan and Jennifer. Not me" he is saying this with the calmest face.
Jo
"Want me to cheer you up?" I'm grinning

"Uhm...you can try" he is shrugging.

"Let's go" I'm taking his hand in mine and he doesn't let go, luckily.