~•ENDANGERED •~

17. When it's apart...

He's too far away from me. Not like that. He's sitting not so far from me and we're droving to this Carnival because for some reason he finds it hard to say no to Brenda and I know he hates it already.

He's too distant and too for me is not working.

I haven't seen a cup in his hand and all he does is ignore us all, shut us out and trying to get him to open up only makes him angry and he disappears. I hate how now he's sleeping away and leaving me all alone to my thoughts, he doesn't ask questions anymore and he's back to that gorgeous 6' something man with a cold stare and emotionless face.

I'm just left in the cold. To freeze. It's pretty clear where this is going and it's nowhere, he probably doesn't care about anything and thinks that I'll...

"I don't do carnivals or candy" we're not even out of the car and he's already annoyed.

"Sure" I'm nodding.

"Good. Now let's go" he just expects me to follow him as he pushes the crowded entrance where the guy checks out tickets and he is now wrapping his long fingers around my wrist and pulling me.

"And we're only here for an hour and thirty minutes" he is stopping in front of me, staring straight at my eyes.

"Fine, Mr Grumpy" I'm rolling My eyes at him.

"I'm not in that mood either" he gives me a cold look and I look away from him.

It seems tonight I won't be near close to him and it feels like it's what I have done.

He's walking beside me, disgusted at every face carrying a grin and giggling. He's annoyed of the music that's playing, the music that we shouldn't mind but do and every giggle is making me hold on to my tears more. I'm stopping at the food stall and he stops too, folding his arms and waiting for me.

I'm not even thinking of candy, so I'm getting my self a large soda and hoping he'll talk to me because now he's becoming all I know, he's all I crave and all I need, yet my baby is far away and my heart is singing for him, but he won't hear the song and won't let me in. He knew the curse and yet he got closer to me, made my skin used to his touch and now he won't even look at me. I should be blaming my self for letting him in so quickly, I should be angry my self for letting him get used to me and I should be angry at him for turning everything upside down, for ruining what I have built. I should be angry that he's allowed to turn , allowed to lock me put and let me in whenever he feels like it.

Somewhere at a distance a Calvin Harris song plays and I wish I could do more than watch everyone have fun, but Jason is not the type for fun.

This is really a curse.

A kid has won a teddy bear and this is making Jason stop and stare at this Mother and child , his eyes are focused on them and I can see this is somehow upsetting him.

The boy laughs and his Mother joins, it's this sweet sound that is making me smile. How this little dark haired boy is happy with his little teddy bear because his Mother won it for him and to him she's the biggest hero, to him she's this amazing person and Jason quickly looks away when the Father ruins the picture, he's demanding that they leave and this is upsetting this little boy.

The first sight of his tears makes Jason turn away and I'm forced to try and catch up with him. His not turning around as I'm calling his name and it's making everyone look at us.

He's standing here, just looking at the rides and I know he's mind is elsewhere, far from my reach. It's far from me and he's doing it purpose.

"Are you okay?" I'm looking where he's looking.