~•ENDANGERED •~

16. Blank less pages.

The taste of childhood is bitter on me and I'm back to being lonely, I'm back to being lonely and sad.
I want to be sleeping beside him and smell him, but he has been this way since yesterday and he refuses to talk to me, to touch me and it's frustrating me. My skin is craving his touch in a way that has me wanting coffee and he's sleeping.

I'm holding my purple mug as I'm heading back downstairs. Jake , Brenda and Jesse are on a carnival that's supposed to be happening in Town and I'm left with this man I'm slowly falling for , in a way I won't deny and fight. I'm letting my self.

The coffee has turned cold now, because I'm just standing here and staring at the door handle.
"Just do it, Cindiey"

I'm twisting it and it's opening with a click , the door groans and I'm flickering the lights on. Nothing has changed, the book shelf is still lined with the large bookshelf with all of my Mother's book. My mother probably pays the Jane to even clean this space. The wooden floors make my feet a bit cold, the walls are blending in with the dark table that has glass chairs that match the couch.

I'm placing the cup on the table.

My Mother's scent is no longer here and I'm missing her and my brother. Wishing I could see my little sister too.

She used to sit here a lot and her presence is missed by this place and by me. There used to be family pictures here, but now the walls are just bare and empty.

I'm alone and it doesn't matter if I run or not, I'll always be this lonely and Jason was right. I'm running from the loneliness.

"This is where you're hiding?" his voice sounds sleepy.

"Yeah" I'm nodding.

"This where your Mom hid?" he is stretching his head.

"Yeah" I'm sticking to one word answers.

"Are you okay?" he's looking at me with concern.

"Just...hey, what happened? What's wrong?" I'm asking him.

His eyebrow is raised"What are you talking about? "

"I asked you what's wrong and you said everything" I'm looking at him. What mood is he in now?

"Oh , that" he looks different in boxers and ruffled hair, he looks sexier than usual and his hard rock abs are so unreal I want to touch them.

"Yes" I'm turning around , my back facing him.

"My Father. Are you mad at me or something?" his getting closer.

"No, it's just that we'll go our separate ways and I thought I ...I thought this would be easy" I'm now looking at my bare feet instead of his face.

"What you are saying?" his sitting on top of the table in front of me.

"I'm starting to feel things for you" what I'm saying is taking a lot from me because I don't exactly enjoy talking about my feelings. "And eventually you have to go back to your life"

"Cindiey. I'm here now, aren't I?" his hand holds mine and he's pulling me towards him, trapping me in between his thighs.

"Yeah, but-"

"Cindiey, you think too much. Anyway , what's really bothering you" he's now playing with hair like usually does.

"I'm worried about you" I'm placing my hands on his thighs.

"Nothing I'm not used to with my Father. He always has chosen Jonathan over me...since I was...I constantly have to prove I'm not weak" he refuses to look at me. "And he knows about us so...he thinks I'm weak, letting a curse rule my life"