Indigo

XXXV

    I can't say that recovery was painless, but it wasn't nearly as awful as I'd expected it to be. Robin had managed to break two of my ribs, which she apologized for over and over every day. The hospital had guaranteed to release me in a few days, and I was grateful for it, but they were the longest days of my life. She would be there, every second, tormenting me and skipping around my bed at night. As much as I hated it, though, she was a part of me now. Whether I liked it or not.
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    It was the last day of staying in the hospital, finally, and I woke up with an aching soreness in my chest, as usual.

    "Morning," I heard Lucas say, and I looked over to see him in his usual place. Indigo stood above him, her hands formed in a heart.

    "Hey," I croaked. A smile played across his lips.

    "You ready to get out of here?" He asked. I returned his grin and nodded. I tried to ignore her as she circled Lucas and sized him up.

    "Oh, yes," her voice danced through my head, "He'll be fun to get rid of." I tried to focus on Lucas instead of her, but I couldn't. I wanted him to be able to see her -to help me- with everything.

    "Lucas?" I shook my head out of wishes and decided to do something about it. His eyebrows furrowed.

    "Yeah? What's up?" He asked, obviously concerned. I kept my eyes focused on him and took a deep breath before telling him everything from start to finish. As I told him about her, she stood glaring at me front the corner of the room, unhappy that I''d shared her little secret.

    "But that's insane, you wouldn't hurt us now that it's happened once. I'm sure you can even control her if you tried!" Lucas's voice rose in hope and fear alike. I shifted my gaze to where she was standing, wondering if I could. If it even was possible, I didn't known how to, or I would have already.

    "Maybe you're right, Lucas," I didn't want to crush the hope he had if I could help it, "But just in case, I need to know that if I do lose control, you'll end it." His gray eyes widened as he realized what I was asking him to do: if I went off the rails, he would be the one to kill me. A small look of understanding passed between us silently.

    "Okay," he muttered, "What do you need me to do?" I sighed in relief. I couldn't even imagine how hard this would have been if he hadn't agreed.

    "To be honest, I hardly know, but maybe..." I thought for a moment, trying to think about my words before I said something that would turn him off from the whole idea. Suddenly, I thought of something, "I need to go somewhere far away. Somewhere I can't hurt anyone. Away from all of you guys. We'll go to the Director together, convince her to get me a house or something in the middle of nowhere."

    "But-" Lucas started.

    "No, please. I need to do this." I looked down at my hands in my lap. Lucas shook his head, and for a moment my heart sank, until I heard what he said.

    "You don't have to do any of it, Indigo. It'll be hard enough on you after. I'll talk to her for you, don't worry about anything." His expression was pained as he said it, but he managed to get the words out. He slid back into his chair comfortably like he wasn't thinking about what weOd just talked about.

    "One more thing," I looked back up at him guiltily, "Don't tell the others. No matter what." He nodded, unwillingly, and we spent the rest of the day pretending to be happy with the rest of our large group. They were happy to be out of the place and on their way back home, and so was I.

    My first thought once I was outside was how nice the sun felt in the October chill. I hadn't felt it in what seemed like forever; the only light I'd had was artificial LEDs. As soon as we were all in the car, no one let the air be silent, with the exception of Sophie, of course. With some convincing from me, the others had accepted Robin again, so we all chatted freely, filling up the air time until we arrived at another of the Humanity's private airstrips in the middle of a forest clearing. As we took off in the plane, which was now a great deal more cramped than the last one had been, I watched the city disappear and hoped to never set foot there again.

    "Beautiful, isn't it?" Portia came up beside me.

    "Oh, yeah," the other me joined in,"Just gorgeous. It'll give me a ton of great memories." Realizing that Portia couldn't hear her and was waiting for an answer, I quickly nodded and offered up a smile. Inside, I was screaming. This was going to be a long ride.

    Five hours and a headache later, we were landing back at Headquarters with masses of people surrounding us. I could barely look at them through the windows without a sinking feeling appearing in my heart. We walked off the plane and began our way to our apartment building, Sophie awkwardly walking alongside Portia, who'd taken an immediate liking to her. Lucas leaned over to me.

    "I called the Director before we got in the air," he hung back from the others as he began to speak.

    "And?" I swallowed my nervousness as I waited to hear what she'd said.

    "She said yes, on one condition." He fell behind my strides for a moment, and I took his arm over my shoulder, ignoring my own pain and helping him walk.

    "What is it?" I looked at his dark hair and tried to stop thinking about how much I was going to miss it if I could comply to the Director's rule.

    "You can't just up and leave. You have to tell the others before you get out of here," he waited for my reaction, probably hoping that I'd disagree and decide to stay with him.

    "I don't like it," I started, "but fine." Lucas didn't show it, but I knew his face fell when I agreed. He covered it up with a laugh.

    "Stubborn as always," he chuckled, despite our situation. I joined in to distract myself for a while. This was harder for me than I cared to admit. I didn't want to leave my family. As we all boarded the elevator, we started dispersing to each of our own floors. Mine was on the top level, so I was the last one off. The silence gave me too much time to think about what I was doing. I tried to not let my brain wander into the darker corners of my thoughts, but it happened anyway. Soon, tears were gathering in my eyes and as the doors opened, I ran up to my bed and flung myself on the blankets. I shook silently until the dread went away and I fell asleep.

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    I woke up with my shoes still on and my hair in a tangled mess. I undid the laces and let the shoes fall tot he ground. I tried to comb the knots out of my hair as another wave of tears threatened to spill as I realized it might be my last day here considering how fast the Humanity got things done. I unpacked the suitcase I'd brought to Arizona before meeting the others downstairs in the dining hall for breakfast.

    Everyone was chatting, happy to be back home, except for me. Portia asked if I was okay a few times, and I tried to fake it, mostly successfully. Halfway through our meal, the entire room fell silent as the Director sauntered into the room and beckoned us to follow her.

    "Indigo, others, come with me," she spoke. The others all stood with confused looks on their faces and Lucas squeezed my hand reassuringly. As we followed her up to her office, Portia exchanged looks of surprise with everyone else, mostly Sophie. I smiled knowing that Sophie had found a friend in her like I had.

    "Please sit down," the Director commanded as we stopped in her office. Everyone took their seat and I braced myself for what was about to come.

    "Indigo?" She prompted me.

    "First of all, " I couldn't meet their eyes, "I need you to know that I didn't want this." Everyone's expressions grew worried.

    "I'm still seeing her, so I've decided that I need to leave." As the words left my lips, it felt like nothing happened. I knew that feeling: the one where something is said, but it just doesn't feel real. I barely even believed myself.

    "We got her a cabin far away from anyone," the Director picked up, "She'll be leaving the day after tomorrow."
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Hey guys!
Thank you so much for reading. Just to let you all know, if you do read these authors notes, this is the second to last chapter, but I'm thinking of writing a second one. If you'd be interested in reading another one, please let me know in the comments or by sending me a dm. Thank you for sticking with reading this!
-AJ