Aiden Deis: My Subset of Reality

July 30th - 2011

Que The Music

I went to the annual town parade (disappointingly small and aggravatingly short) which on a scale of '5-yellow' measures 'moderate' (I gave it a generous rating, since it was the first parade I've ever attended). I would by nature of the situation never tell any of my newly acquired family members that I wasn't exactly having the best day of my life (step mom included).

11:30(ish)

The parade (which started at 11:00) just ended and we headed to Josh's (step uncle) house for lunch, the rest of the town excluding a palm sized group of guests who came along with us, all went to the park where they enjoyed their lunch.

11:45(ish)

We arrived at Josh's house where my attention was speedily apprehended by his two sons, Melvin (who I estimate being somewhere between 7-8, his hobbies include cleaning the house) and Ben (who I know to be 4, and if he could choose his first car, it would have a John Deere badge on the front), I really don't mind them constantly wanting a play mate... There usually aren't allot of kids my age at these parties and even if there were I'd probably prefer to avoid being associated with them.

The younger of the two got my attention first and was adamant that we play 'The Jumpy Thing' a game that verges on qualifying as child-labor (Which sadly cannot save me anymore since I am now 4 months into being 16) I've considered coming up with a name that better describes this 'Activity', but have yet to do so since 1) I have no better name for it and 2) Ben has difficulty with his pronunciation so I'll settle for whatever I can get him too audibly say.

Eventually my biceps (or lack thereof) could no longer accommodate 'The Jumpy Thing' and I moved on to play with Melvin.

His game of preference I would bet was of his own invention. The rules were simple, I hide 3 items, he finds said items, he hides said items, I find said items... The gameplay for the most part reminded me of an old teacher who constantly spoke in a 'Too tired too be alive today' monotone, the only exception to his narrow fielded voice was when he (in the most public setting possible) forgave someone for a stupidly incorrect answer based on the fact that they are either blond or simply an undercover blond. That was back in my South African days though and I have still to encounter a teacher is the US with a sense of humor as daring, bluntly honest and stupidly funny. It's worth noting that this particular teacher does not laugh at his own 'jokes' (which makes a world of difference) and also that I simply cannot remember his name.

Play time was over and it was time to go eat. I was releaved because both Melvin and Ben had run out of games to play and were relying on me for ideas, not one of my talents.

In denial of all my predictions, the food was the compensation for the parade and not the other way around. Even the beans Kari (my step mom) made were good, considering the fact that I DON'T DO BEANS, 'good' is a very well deserved comment.

Funny thing about those beans — On our way into town this morning (It was just me and Kari, my dad and brother decided to stay home) Mari K overtook a Semi-truck, but she stayed in the 'wrong' lane so long that eventually there was a car closing in on us and getting close too proving that he (the driver) was no 'chicken'. I vividly remember thinking "Americanss.s.s......" as Kari casually turned to her appropriate lane.

As if That wasn't enough to properly make my butt suck too my seat like a vacuum cleaner, the approaching car got too a distance where we could lean too each other a little bit and rub our noses and then swung his shiny silver Toyota right at us and imediatly corrected his heading again. Kary is convinced it was by accident and didn't think the event was worth any more than calling the driver of the Toyota 'stupid', I on the other hand believe that it was done with intention to scare us (it worked), but I didn't want to argue my point as it would have forced me to mention her 'questionable' driving, so I just agreed "Stupid..."

Either way, in the middle of the entire ordeal, Kari Swerved violently into the shoulder-lane. Didn't think anything of it.

We got to Josh's house to drop of the food she had made before we headed for the parade. At this point we made a shocking, yet predictable discovery... the discovery included the trunk of Kary's car being covered in beans. I was an unsightly thing to witness. Kary wanted to get the beans into the house as quickly as possible. Mistake. She picked up the dish and pondered the sudden sensation that accompanies holding a warm dish... oven gloves... maybe? Some of the beans survived the ride (both too town and into the house). There was enough left to feed everybody and have leftovers.

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By the way [1/7/2017]:

1. Originally from South-Africa. Also, not all South-African are racist. Promise.

2. Sorry for the confusing sidenote about the 'blond joke' teacher from Africa.