Aiden Deis: My Subset of Reality

January 3rd, 2017

9:09PM I just found some 'journal' entries from... what must have been August of 2011. I liked the tone of my writing from then much better. I mention in one of them that the idea of keeping a journal was inspired by the book Spud by John van der Ruit, and it seems to me that the tone is very heavily inspired by those books.

It's much more conversational, light, innocent. It's fun to read. I don't have the distance from these later 'entries' to have a decent perspective of what the tone is. Of course I think those earlier ones were meant to be read by people, I posted them on tumblr and then later on WattPad (which is where I just now found them) whereas now I'm writing these in my google Docs account.

Well I was looking around on WattPad, because I'm trying to find a way of incorporating embedding videos/pictures into these logs. I've always taken pictures/videos of anything I thought to document. I wonder if there is a significance to my desire to hold on to moments, or if I'm just reaching for meaning when all there is is chemical impulse... of course the two aren't mutually exclusive. Well I've been taking timelapses of me working on my desk, and I thought I'd like to incorporate them in my log. It might sound silly, but working on this desk is really relaxing and a rather impressing experience. It's a wonderful concentration that follows when you allow yourself to attempt perfection.

Yes, the tone of this writing is drastically different from the early writing, it's much more reflexive I think; whereas the Spud inspired writing was much more documentary in purpose.

Thing I should remember to mention when writing tonight:

Grandma stopped to give up Christmas presents and invited me over to visit Friday. After reading those early entries, I'm heavily tempted to print them off and show her (under oath of secrecy; naturally) as a conversation piece to initiate a reconstruction of our relationship. I think reflecting on what was is very important, so that you can acknowledge the ways in which it has changed. As of now I'm very sure this is the optimal course of action. I would like to reinstate my relationship with her, and my time is running out. I won't be spending too much time on the farm after 2017.

Me and Lara drove to Dumas to pick up a cake for Neil (today's his 24th birthday).

I added two coats of Polyurethane today.

Cameron is back.

Did I mention Playing Half-Life yesterday, did we play half-life yesterday? Might have been the day before... two days before?

I made an appointment to get my car's oil changed tomorrow at 2pm, in Dumas. Dad wants me to stop by the lumber store and order the sheets for the roof of his deck while I'm in town.

I need a haircut.

I'm getting increasingly excited about my hammock idea. The challenge of convincing strangers to allow me so intimately into their lives-- it's intoxicating. Knowing that I'll fail 9/10 encounters is also calming. It's time I stopped being ashamed at the prospect of failure.

This was just supposed to be a reminder list for when I typed tonight, but I'm quite satisfied with it for now.

I really liked "Sing Street" last night.