Aiden Deis: My Subset of Reality

Driving. [7th Jan, 2017]

Typing at 1:20AM on the 8th.

8:38 I got out of bed. It was quite the struggle, I was really dreading still having to pack my car. Nothing a shower can't fix though.

Dad had made some 'Milk Coffee' as a treat this morning to fuel and send me off. 'Milk Coffee' is milk that you heat up in a pot (careful it doesn't boil over), it's important to do in a pot as opposed to the microwave because the milk gets an amazing burnt flavor from it, and then you pour it into cups-- add some instant coffee powder, sugar, and you're done. It is worth it. So I had that and a slice of homemade bread lightly smeared with marmite for breakfast. Dad was really pouring it on thick making sure I'd miss home.

10:20 Driving.

11:43 Driving.

1:30PM Driving.

2:20PM Stopped to get a Subway sandwich; the same one that I have always gotten since landing in the States. Italian BMT on Monterey Cheddar (or Italian Herb); Pepper Jack (or Provolone). Yes, toasted please. Lettuce, Pickles, Honey-Mustard. Thank you. Yes, a macadamia nut cookie also please. No, just water.

2:30PM Back at it again with the Driving. While eating.

2:40PM Saw a notification on my phone that Tay had posted a new post on WattPad. I'm glad. I saw her journal on WattPad the day before yesterday and told her I'd encourage her to stay daily with her posts if she encouraged me. Then yesterday she didn't post at all, which disappointed me. It looks like she just posts at a 1 day delay though. So she just now posted the entry for yesterday's journal. I'm glad she hasn't giving up.

Of course she can't really police me yet. I'm still trying to get the backlog of entries copied in from the unorganised documents strewn across my Google Drive account.

3:50PM Hey... you.... Yeah I'm talking to you. Guess what. No, guess! Yeah, I'M STILL DRIVING!!!

7:19PM Got back to my college apartment. Turns out I'm the only of my roommates who is here. I don't expect the other two will be back for at least a week. Went straight to offloading and unpacking. I knew that if I sat down at all I'd just give up on unpacking tonight.

11(ish)PM I drove the gas station convenience store to buy some milk and had an idea! Since I want to 1) Have intimate (as in personal, not sexual) conversations with strangers and 2) Need an outside perspective on have I have written so far and how I need to alter my writing to make it more appealing and coherent... Why don't I just turn to the internet for help? Omegle.

11:20(ish) Oh yeah, that's why I shouldn't turn to the internet for advice.. Masturbating teenagers. Omegle is impossible. Interesting also though, because you end up making very prejudice decisions about who you skip and who you try to engage. I was still very much dressed for the day, so I don't think anybody really mistook me for intending on finding sexual stimulation. Likewise, I used 'fully dressed' as a criteria for finding someone to have a discussion with. Well I came across a girl who was quite warmly dressed also and was holding a guitar. So I stopped skipping. I wanted to get right into what my intentions were, so I didn't even think about introducing myself. I just skipped straight over I'm trying to do this thing and I was hoping you'd be willing to read some of it and offer me feedback. I felt like I was on trial, and had to quickly make it clear that I only had one thing on my mind and that one thing wasn't the same thing as the previous 90 odd people she had clicked through.

Welp, she (Maya) didn't think I was weird enough to warrant a skip I suppose, because we ended up talking from about 11:40PM till 12:30PM.

She read through the first entry and I added some noted according to her feedback. Then we just ended up talking about whatever. Turns out she used to keep a journal also, her last entry was about 6 months ago, but she had it close by, so she read it to me. It's wonderful how easy it is to trust a stranger. But as we talked, she felt less and less like a stranger. Which caused me to internally panic when I told her where to find my WattPad account and she skipped to an entry that was pretty homosexual. I don't think she actually read the entry right then. But it still made me panic. And now I'm wondering what I will reply if/when someone who reads this thing asks: "so are you gay?"

As obvious as it must seem to anyone reading this: you were 'in love' with a dude i.e. you're gay. I don't feel 'gay'. Whatever that means. I don't intend on growing old with a guy. I intend on growing old with someone I love.. Or you know... some cats.

Well, Maya and I exchanged contact information and moved on.

12:40(ish) One of the people I almost skipped immediately was a guy without a webcam on who was live rapping about whatever was happening with the person he was chatting to. I spent a minute or so enjoying his rapping and had quite a bit of fun really pretending to jam out hard to his rhymes. I mean come on, the guy rhymed about I was getting drunk by drinking MILK! Finally I came across another pair of people who weren't naked or trying to get naked. They didn't have a mic, so I did all the talking. I tried to be entertaining, they typed me a couple of jokes. The guy was busy getting high, he seemed friendly though.. the girl was doing the typing for the most part. Turns out they were also from Canada. Thanks Canada! I tried to be entertaining, they typed me a couple of jokes.

1:20AM Realised I had to stop messing about online if I was going to get my entry done and get some sleep tonight.

Thanks for reading. I'm working on it.