The Art Of Dancing With Demons (Blue Exorcist/Amaimon)

Ch 33

"So... Uh..." I scratched the back of my head as my gaze met with a small cage that rested on top of a nightstand. Inside the metal cell stood a certain green haired hamster looking back at me. His unamused expression made me feel nervous to the point where I could barely form coherent sentences.

After leaving Mephisto's office earlier we headed directly to the new dorm room, getting lost a few times and having to stop for directions before I finally found it. Luckly all my previous stuff had been moved in already, which saved me quite some time for what I wanted to do next.

"I know this might not be your definition of fun, sorry." I chuckled nervously as I shifted my eyes around the room, trying to come up with a way to get out what was on my chest.

I wanted to apologize, to ask him why he was willing to take a sword through the heart for me, to ask him if we could still be friends. A thousand words rang through my head as I blurted out the first ones without realizing.

"I'm sorry."

His expression remained unreadable as his purplish eyes bore into mine, his whiskers slowly moving.

"I really have been. Ever since that day where you stormed off." I continued, hinting back to when he asked me to be his girlfriend.

"It wasn't my intention to start an argument with you. Never in my life had I made friends before, and I was scared of pushing Rin away. Instead I ended up losing you." I whispered, my gaze lowering to my clutched hands at my lap. Just then I knew why my mind was silently hoping to avoid this topic, because the heaviness in my heart was unbearable and I couldn't keep my gaze, especially when Amaimon was looking back at me with an unreadable expression.

I took his silence as a sign to continue. Or maybe he was just ignoring me, which was more believable than him actually wanting to listen. Either way, my mouth opened and words spilled out once again.

"The question was so sudden, I didn't know how to react. It was the first time someone actually asked for a relationship with me. My stomach was feeling all woozy like I just got out of a roller coaster." A small humorless laugh escaped my lips. "I guess I just freaked out..."

By now my jaw was clenched, my entire body rigid as I emptied all my unspoken words. Maybe I was mad, at myself clearly, but I wasn't going to stop. Finally he couldn't avoid me any longer and I was taking that opportunity.

"I-It wasn't my intention to hurt you. A bit too late now, I know, but I just wanted to tell you that you're all I've been thinking about. As sad and annoying as it may sound, it's true. A-And I know that I can't make you stay, at least emotionally, but I wanted to let you know how sorry I am."

My voice was barely loud enough to hear, but I couldn't raise it. The words kept choking at my throat, breaking and refusing to come out as my chest slightly jumped with each breath I took.

"You didn't deserve any of this. I completely understand that I was immature, a-and that I lost you forever, but I don't want to say goodbye just yet. I can't. It may sound selfish, but I-I need you-"

"Emi?" I his voice rang through my ears and my head snapped up, my heart crawling up my throat as my gaze locked with his.

A strange feeling invaded my stomach, like a combination of hot and cold, and I was sure I was about to throw up, but the words he said next caught me off guard. His expression was still too guarded to read, but something in his eyes irradiated some sort of sadness.

"Don't cry. Please." He whispered and my eyes slowly widened. Bringing my fingers to my cheek, I noticed a trail of water running down my face.

"W-What?"

"We don't need to talk about it, alright? At least not now." He answered. "It's late. You should head to sleep."

"But it's only five in the afternoon."

"I said go to sleep," he sighed with a pointed look, clearly wanting to avoid the topic as much as possible. I nodded slowly, my eyes no longer meeting his as I gave my own sigh in defeat.

"Alright." I whispered as I slowly stood up and made my way towards the bathroom. Looking in the mirror I managed to catch the streaks that lined my cheeks.

"Pathetic." I whispered as I harshly wiped the unwanted tears away. The image in front of me was glaring, wanting nothing more than to come out of the small box and punch me in the face. It was my reflection after all...

A groan escaped my lips as I shook my head and focused on washing my teeth instead. After I was done I walked out of the bathroom only to find Amaimon curled up in a little green ball of fur, his back facing me.

Remembering Mephisto's instructions, I walked over to the small cage and circled my fingers around the small tag, hesitantly tearing it out. Immediately the room was engulfed in a dim pink light, covering every single inch of the four walls.

"Must be the seal..." I whispered as I eyed the cage one more time. Amaimon's soft breathing reached my ears, making me sigh for the hundredth time today.

I opened my mouth again but no words came out, instead I chose to remain silent as I stared at the demon king's back. Tears prickled my eyes again but this time I was fully aware and I refused to let them out.

Crying didn't solve anything back then, why would it now?

With clenched fists I tore my gaze from Amaimon and ducked under the covers of my own bed.

It was big, way too big for my liking. The mattress at my old dorm room was twin sized. This one was king sized with pure red bedsheets that, I had to admit, went beautiful with the black rug that covered floor. The mattress itself was very comfy, but I found myself drowning in it. Maybe if I only had Ryoku to keep me company, but the Vatican has him for a few days as they are unsure of all this 'God's daughter' issue.

I turned to my side as a groan left my lips, already knowing this was going to be a long night. I just hoped I could wake up with enough energy for training tomorrow. With one last hope I opened my mouth.

"Good night." I called out.

He didn't reply.

I wasn't expecting him to either.