Decipher | Watty's 2017

LXV. Non Compos Mentis

Non Compos Mentis

/ˌnän ˌkämpəs ˈmen(t)əs/

adjective

not sane or in one's right mind

It was a few weeks from that day that I sat deciphering the code again, running matrices upon matrices through the computer and occasionally an odd logarithm when the Code began to become all too easy. Those days were filled with company from one of the boys, Riley, or Janice as they would sit in and talk about random topics as the system worked. Janice was the most frequent, sitting in and asking all too many questions as she claimed she was fascinated by the thought of someone being able to decipher a code like this one.

My mind perked at the thought of her actually being interested, but knew she wasn't when she began to get bored only a few minutes into me explaining it. As she sat in the chair opposite of me, throwing a ball up against the wall and then catching it before it could go past her, I began to feel like the silence of the room grew to be too loud. I glanced over at her before sighing and typing another matrix into the computer and turning my chair to face her.

"So how have you been?" I asked lamely, trying to find a topic to throw the silence out of the room. When Michael or Ashton were in the room to visit, it was never quiet as they both were very adamant that the silence would bore them to death. Meanwhile, Calum served as my part time therapist since he was the main person I seemed to connect with concerning my time with the White Coats. Never once had Calum looked at me with sympathetic eyes as if I was damaged beyond repair; instead, he lifted me up as I cried and told me repeatedly that I was so strong, holding me closely until my tears subsided.

However, Janice brought an uneasy feeling into the room. Despite her and I being the best of friends in the laboratory, our relationship never seemed the same since I had seen her in the colony. But then again, nothing ever seemed normal about the colony anymore to me.

Each time I turned a corner all I could see was the taunting faces of the White Coats as I was poked and prodded to give them information about my genetic makeup. When I would stay too long in my room without Luke I could feel the walls closing in around me, making me feel so small like I had when I was captive. Something about those eerie memories lurked in the colony's walls and scared me as I walked through them daily.

"I'm fine," she responded monotonously after a while, not saying anything after her two word response. My blood boiled at her distance as I searched my mind for something I may have done to cause her to shut herself out from me.

Had I said something? What could have changed between two weeks prior and that moment? Nothing came to mind as I stared at her with a hardened look covering my face, too pent up from all of the emotions that had yet to be released to deal with her silent treatment any longer.

"Okay," I said coldly, still keeping my eyes trained on the back of her head. "What gives?" She sat just staring at the wall, no longer moving as she had been and not responding to anything I was saying.

I marched over to stand in front of her, taking in her stoic face as I scanned it for any signs of distress only to find none. A huff of air was released from my mouth as I set my hands on my hips, finding her attitude annoying as I restrained myself, not knowing what she had running through her mind at that moment in time.

"So are you not going to talk to me?" I asked, hearing her let out a huff in response. My mouth gaped at this as my eyes furrowed and began to shoot daggers into her's. "What are you doing right now?" There were a few moments of sadness that were chilling me to the bone as I stared at Janice's robotic figure sitting within the chair in front of me.