Decipher | Watty's 2017

XCI. Previse

Previse

/prēˈvīz/

verb

foresee or predict

Luke's ultimate request of my not being on the raid was fully accepted as we planned the attack, the whole team realizing that I was more of a liability than an asset, especially since Michael's death, which made Luke very happy. It was not that Luke was possessive, he was protective. I had come to understand that boundary very quickly from being around him.

Although he absolutely despised the way his friends would take my side in certain scenarios, often resulting in him not speaking to them for several days, he would never become angry for the notion of me spending time with his friends. On the contrary, he welcomed me to speak with his friends and indulge myself with memories of his childhood here that he couldn't remember or were too problematic for him to relive.

As the time grew closer, I was beginning to be denied entry to the room where the plans for the raid were being made. Although the boys had made it clear that it wasn't due to my lack of attendance on the raid, I still felt that it did have something to do with it, but I brushed it off and spent most of my time lurking the halls. That was all I could manage to do until the day of the raid, which came sooner than I ever expected.

That morning, Luke rose and attempted not to wake me as he got ready to leave. Little did he know, I had not been able to get a wink of sleep the previous night due to the nerves surrounding my entire being. As I held my body up with one arm, I stared at Luke's back, his muscles tightening as he lifted his signature black shirt over his head. I shook my head a bit, noting how often he wore his black tee shirts, counting the times he hadn't worn one of them or a band shirt on one hand.

He was so predictable and steady, that was what attracted me to him I thought to myself as I continued to allow my eyes to roam his body. Luke was the epitome of perfection in my eyes, but I grew wary of his lack of interest in commitment; however, I shook those thoughts out of my head, patronizing myself for even considering bringing that back up due to how horribly it had ended the previous time. I figured that the longer I allowed him to debate his choices, maybe he would grow to entertain the thought, but I also recognized the fact that maybe it was something he would never want.

Although I found the question still lingering my head, I allowed myself to let it go, reminding myself that even if he didn't want that aspect of our lives to be documented, I would still have him and that was enough for me.

I guess Luke caught on to the fact I was staring because he spun on his heel quickly the moment he felt my eyes gazing at his amazing frame. My shy smile greeted him; however, it was as if he could tell that I was not excited to watch him leave for the raid. His sad eyes beckoned me toward him, which I happily accepted as I ran over to the blonde boy. Nothing was a comforting as this tall, muscled, blonde man's arms wrapped around my body.

"I can still cancel the raid," he whispered against my hair, allowing his hands to run through the tangled mess. I shook my head at him to signal that I didn't want to talk about that possibility. Although I loved Janice like a sister and felt the need to protect her, this raid was testing my loyalty to her as I thought of several ways to abandon her needs in order to save Luke, Ashton, and Calum the stress of entering that city again.

Even in the first meeting, I had suggested that the boys decline the trip, resulting in the boys only pushing for the idea more and planning out all of the details within a mere week as compared to their normal two weeks of planning. Despite my best attempts to take back all that I had said to Luke, he seemed to deny it and recognize that this wasn't what I actually wanted, only my nerves speaking for me. At one point, he had even pulled me aside to remind me of why they were doing this, reminding me that it was necessary in order to obtain all the information from Janice.