Decipher | Watty's 2017

XC. Transpicuous

Transpicuous

/tranˈspikyo͞oəs/

adjective

easily understood; lucid

It had been two weeks since that heart to heart between Luke and I, and the whole time I was focused on what Janice had told me. Multiple times I had come close to requesting to enter Calum's room to search for the plans she had supposedly been able to get, but each time I found myself doubting the idea of Janice being able to do such a thing. Thoughts of whether she was telling the true circled within my brain as I wondered if she was really mentally ill.

Although she had been left undiagnosed, that was very common within the colony's psychiatry department because they relied only on the medication we had within our means to treat the people of the colony. Furthermore, the Code had seemed to dramatically lessen the cases of mental disorders that had similar symptoms as Janice's, which meant that the only place to find the needed medications would be in the city, but since Michael's death, none of us were eager to go back into that city.

There were nights in the past two weeks that I would lie awake in Luke's arms, trying to find a cure to Janice's problem, but with the limited amount of resources we had, it was obvious that the only option was to go on another raid. However, I knew that if I suggested that to the group, tension would only build as everyone agreed to never return to that city unless it was to save the entire population within it.

I battled my emotions internally as I tossed and turned slightly in bed, alerting Luke to something being off. Although he offered his help, I knew that he wouldn't want to be involved in this decision either way. From his past experiences, Luke could never turn down a person in need; however, he still held pent up anger toward Janice for attempting to harm me and the emotions from Michael's death were still fresh in his mind.

Knowing that I could not talk to anyone within the colony about this issue, I was left with no other choice but to talk to the only person that would listen to me, which led to my sneaking out of mine and Luke's room. Even though I felt guilty for leaving him without warning to wake up alone, I felt that the task at hand was more important than his feelings that would recover fairly quickly once he found me where I was headed. The red coat that I had become fairly accustomed to still hung on the racks near the exit of the colony as I made my way toward the door.

At that time in the morning, there were not any workers on duty, which left me with no one to know where I was headed. Although I felt unsafe on my own as I walked in the snow covered forest, I quickly overcame my fear and pursued the trail I was very familiar with. When I finally approached the landmarking willow tree, I fell to my knees on the snow covered ground.

"Well, I finally got around to visiting you," I said, smiling slightly to myself as I glared at the infamous carved stone marking Michael's grave. I still had a distaste toward the thing due to its blandness, thinking that it should represent Michael a bit more clearly by being painted several different colors due to his love for dying his hair.

"I know this probably sounds really selfish of me," I began, cringing at how I sounded like I was speaking to an actual person. Somehow, I recalled the way Riley spoke to Michael as if he were there, attempting to do the same as I found solace in the way she did. "But I needed some advice," I finally said, moving my hair out of my face as it had begun to cover my line of sight.

The wind began to pick up as I remained sitting at his grave. My frozen fingers, moved the hood up to cover my ears since they were beginning to feel extremely cold due to the harsh wind's persistence. I imagined the way Michael would laugh at me and make a joke about my incompetence since I forgot to grab a pair of gloves before my way out here. That was when the pain in my chest began to settle in as tears welled within my eyes.