Decipher | Watty's 2017

XCIII. Abhor

Abhor

/əbˈhôr/

verb

regard with distaste or hatred

It was a few weeks after that when we all gathered behind the mahogany casket, following it as we made our way to the spot we had come to call our graveyard. Although the people of the colony were asked to keep their distance due to the stressful time it was causing all of us, they still came and walked in support. After the autopsy revealed the new micro chip, the entire colony came to realize how much of an asset this girl was to us, which made all the difference in mine and Calum's eyes.

Calum. The moment he was told of Janice's sacrifice, he began crying. Memories of his red and puffy eyes still filled my mind as I gripped his hand tightly in mind, walking in between him and Luke. Although the boys very rarely wore a suit of any worth, this was one of the few circumstances which required them to dress in total black dress clothes.

When we finally reached the plot of land where we had buried Michael, the precession came to a halt, Janice's casket being lowered onto a group of foldable tables covered in black cloth. We all had set out to make the funeral as beautiful as possible, realizing that Janice's death came only months before the war would begin, and knowing that the people of the colony would attend, we attempted to make this funeral an open setting for all those who we knew would lose their loved ones in due time.

Calum's grip on my hand never failed as the pastor spoke words of encouragement to all of us. The mourani boy's face appeared to have tear stains covering it as he tried to sniffle the last of his tears; however, when the pastor spoke of her eternal dwelling, a sob released from his lips. My heart ached at watching my best friend bury his love. Nothing in my life would ever prepare me to console him.

I glanced over at Luke whose eyes were dazed and looked as though he would break down any moment. My hand grasped his, interlacing our fingers as I finally caught his attention. His eyes met mine with a tearful look still dwelling within them as though he were imagining the pain Calum was bearing at the moment. By the softening of my eyes, I knew that Luke would follow my realization, but he appeared to be unfazed, still gripping my hand tightly as though I would join Janice if he wouldn't.

"May we all remember Janice," the preacher called out, causing me to roll my eyes as he made a large ordeal over our friend lying before him. Even though I had seen this as a way to honor Janice, I refused to allow anyone to make a production of her valiant end; however, due to my commitment to holding Calum together, I had left the picking of the preacher to Luke and Ashton, which proved to be a mistake.

I made no sound as I held back my screams, simply taking in the last moment I would have with my best friend's being before she was lowered into the ground. My eyes found the tombstone directly beside Janice's, noticing the lack of snow covering it due to the weather's heat in the past few days. The ceremony reminded me a bit of Michael's, the way we all stood side by side as though we felt one another's pain, but this ceremony for Janice was so much more than that.

While Michael's death had affected me in its own way, I found myself more torn by the loss of Janice than I was of Michael's. When Michael had died, I felt like I couldn't breath, the various hair colored boy took a piece of my heart with him. However, Janice's funeral made me remember those emotions in full force, mostly because I felt the correlation seep into my veins as I realized that I was the common factor between each of their deaths.

I tuned the rest of the message out, hearing only moments of the speech such as the various Bible verses recited by the preacher before us. A single tear slid down my cheek as I took in the moment that would forever be engrained in my mind: the moment I lowered my childhood best friend into the ground. In that moment, I felt Luke's hand cup my face and wipe the stray tear away before placing a light peck against the stained skin, moving away directly after to provide me with ample space.