Decipher | Watty's 2017

LXXXVIII. Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude

/ˈSHädənˌfroidə/

noun

pleasure derived from another person's misfortune

The next day I woke in Luke's arms, the feeling of his body heat radiating to keep me warm throughout the night. Although I did not want to leave the cocoon of his embrace, I gradually slipped away from him, dressing in my normal ensemble before making my way toward the lower level of the colony.

I had rarely made my way down to the lower level for the pure fact that it appeared overly creepy any time I approached the stairs. The only time I had willed myself to descend the concrete slabbed stairs was when there was a raid and it was the only safety I could find. Therefore, my mind traveled at a million miles an hour as I followed the directions I had somehow come across a few days before the raid that took Michael's life.

Although I never planned on actually using the information and traveling to these depths to see someone, I had come to the realization that life was precious and I should absorb every moment I could with the people I loved - which brought me to where I was at that moment. Standing in front of the glass door was scarier than descending the flight of stairs. The black block letters spelling out the words 'Psychiatric Ward' were daunting as I shook slightly at the thought of seeing the person that had threatened my life again.

Even though I had not discussed my decision to come around the padded walls of the ward with Luke, I knew that he would most likely disapprove of my visit, claiming that it was an endangerment to me. However, I felt that this was something I had to do, and the feeling of something tugging me toward Janice's room within a padded cell was something that I couldn't overlook, not when I had just lost my best friend.

Security around the ward was tight, getting frisked for weapons, jackets being taken so nothing could be brought in, a 'help' button being attached to you in order to protect you against any of the patients. Although some of the people staying within the walls were normal for the most part, most suffering from mental illnesses that we didn't have medication to treat or funds to make the said medications.

As a whole, the colony thought that it was better to provide them with a room here, having to stay within the ward for their own protection rather than everyone else's. Yet, we still had people who were a threat to our small society held down here. There were one or two people like Janice who were not diagnosed and thought to be a threat to everyone in the colony - everyone else, regardless if they were a threat or not, had a diagnosis.

I followed one of the guards to the door of Janice's cell, his hand stopping me before I entered and his brown eyes meeting mine for a moment as if to assess my mental state before I entered the room. After a few moments of him staring at me with his arm out to block my entrance, I began to get frustrated and huffed  at him while crossing my arms.

"Is there a problem?" I asked, shaking my head at him. While I understood that security was part of his job, the over abundance of frisking and safety precautions was wearing my patience thin. They were acting as if Janice were certifiably insane, which she may have been, but that did not give them the right to treat me as though I couldn't make a sound decision to see someone.

"You do realize she tried to shoot you, right?" he asked calmly, his eyebrows furrowing together as a questioning look covered his face. I rolled my eyes at him and nodded, signalling that I wanted to proceed into the room. "I'm going to have to call Luke." With that statement, I pointed a finger in his face, tired of everyone calling Luke about my protection.

"I am a grown adult and he has no control over me," I spat out, his expression turning from shocked to scared quickly. "You will not call him down here unless I am hurt; otherwise I would be more than happy to have you removed from this cushy position and sent to the raid teams."