Starkid One Shots

The Dads- Bake Sale

"Okay Joey, I'm leaving you in charge of the kitchen," Lauren said as she put on her boots, slinging her bag over her shoulder, "Jeff, Brian, just a couple rules in my kitchen, no burning my marble countertops, no damaging my equipment and no food fights, got it?

"You got it boss," Brian said as he started reading through Lauren's cookbook, which always sat in the Richter household.

Jeff continued popping chocolate chips into his mouth, and Lauren sighed, "And don't eat all of the ingredients you will need for the actual thing you're making."

You could hear Meredith honking the car horn from the driveway, "Come on loser! We're going shopping!"

"One second!" Lauren yelled outside, and turning to the boys, "Are you sure you don't want me to stay and help?"

Joey kissed his wife on the cheek, "Go. We'll be fine, it's a bake sale for the kids' school, you need a new dress for fifteen year anniversary show we're doing. You're not going to get that chance again, so go and have some fun with Meredith and Rachael!"

"Please don't ruin my kitchen, I just got the table replaced last month because Johanna directly put the baking tray on the marble."

"Don't worry Lo, we can do it, we're full grown men!" Jeff tried to convince her while Brian was still engrossed in the cookbook.

Lauren took a short look outside and back to her husband, giving him a quick kiss, "Love you Joey, see you guys!"

With that, Lauren walked out of the house and closed the door behind her, and Joey turned to the boys, "Okay, we need to make cookies, cupcakes and scones, sound cool?"

"Yeah," Jeff replied emotionlessly, taking out his phone and started going through Twitter.

"Mhmm," answered Brian, going through the pages of the cookbook.

Joey, stepping up to be the boss, said, "Okay, Jeff, you're doing scones, Brian's doing cupcakes and I'll do cookies, sound good?"

"Yeah," Brian muttered, going to the working surface, his head still buried in the cookbook.

Jeff, meanwhile, started laughing at a tweet he saw, and Joey sighed, "Jeff! Come on! Get to work!"

He reluctantly pocketed his phone and the three men got to work. Brian questioned every professional baking term Lauren used in her cookbook while Jeff randomly dumped stuff into the mixing bowl, and Joey approached every step with caution, wanting to perfect the cookies to impress his family.

"Jeff! What the hell are you doing?" Joey exclaimed as Jeff turned on the mixer and started beating in all the ingredients without prior action.

Jeff shrugged, "What? I'm mixing the ingredients."

Joey did a facepalm, "You rub in the butter, then you add in the wet ingredients bit by bit to bring the dough together!"

But it was too late, the mixture was already done and it was in a state of pancake batter instead of a dough they were supposed to achieve.

"What did you expect me to do? I don't bake!" Jeff retorted defiantly.

Brian looked up from his work, "You need to restart the whole thing."

"I'm not doing it! I'm just adding more and more flour in until it comes together as a dough," he decided and took out the whole big pack of flour.

"It's gonna taste like flour!"

"No it won't, I'll just add more sugar!"

Joey sighed, knowing Jeff had gotten more stubborn over the years he was married to Rachael, and left it, focusing on his cookies instead.