Empty

~Fear~

Irene's P.O.V.

Time is tickling, and so is my breath to live. Love turned to hatred, but can he still love me now?

"Unnie, can't you just eat even a few bites? Your condition is going to get much more worse" It's been 3 days since I've last saw Slater, it's been 3 days since we've had a serious talk which ended up in a fight. Since then Wendy and Zoe had always been staying in my ward whenever they're done in school, they're taking care of me whenever they have time.

Right now I was still looking at the door where I last saw Slater leaving, hope filled me wishing to see Slater appearing there again before me so we can have a talk. I know how hard it is for us to have a fight in such situation like this, we are both vulnerable and emotionally unstable as our opinions are based in our emotions.

"Is Slater coming?"

Wendy and Zoe stopped forcing me to eat and looked at each other with knowing gazes, even if I'm weak and I'm not looking at my sisters, I know what they're doing because I know them too well. Just the mention of Slater made my whole world crumble down as the hurtful words we've exchanged keep on repeating in my mind.

"Jared is, I don't know if Slater will come. He was pretty shocked to hear that you have brain cancer, I think he's still in shock" Answered Wendy, a lone tear slowly fell from my side as I bit back a sob and stared at the ceiling in order for my tears to stop falling. I never ate anything for 3 days, I was getting weaker and weaker while refusing to eat and rest well because I'm waiting for Slater here.

I want to see him, I want to hug him, I want to be with him. But I know that it's quite impossible for now because we need to understand each other so we can finally have one decision. To undergo the surgery or not...

The sliding door opened which then of course turned my attention to it, hoping to see Slater but instead it was Jared. Loneliness appeared and currpted my whole brain, I don't know what to do anymore... I just need him to be with me and assure that everything will be alright...

"I heard everything, Wendy is right. Can't you just eat a few bites?" Jared asked once he finally sat on the chair beside my bed, Wendy and Zoe left me and Jared alon in my ward to probably let us have private talk.

"Is Slater okay?"

"I told you many times Irene, I said Slater will definitely react like that when he'll finally realize that you've kept a really big secret from him. He's emotionally unstable and he's also not eating like you" I laughed a bit, why do we always think alike? Are we really destined to be like this?

"Don't you know that you're just making each other's life miserable? Why can't you just undergo the operation? That's the best option we have as of now" Best option? Surgery? How can that be the best option when I have low chance of survival? How can that be the best option when it's going to make it more dangerous for me to live normally?

"If I'm gone, who will stay beside Slater?" Call me dumb, stupid, anything you want... but I don't want to die because I'm going to leave Slater behind. I don't want to mke him suffer and feel lonely. I love him to leave him broken and shattered again.

"Do you seriously want to leave him? Is that why you're acting childish infront of him and is refusing to make your heath your priority?" Jared keeps on pushing me to my limit, I understand tht he also wants me to live but the surgery? Can't there be another opetion than that?

"What's the use if I'll undergo the surgery? I might still die right? There's a higher chance that I'll die if I choose the surgery, my doctor told me that even before. I'm going to die Jared, and I realized how much pain Slater will feel if he'll know this even before"

I saw and felt every pain Slater had felt when Heather left him, I saw how broken he is, I saw how he almost wanted to kill himself just to be with Heather in heaven. He keeps on blaming himself for Heather's dead because it was him who pursuaded her to undergo the surgery, now, here we are... repeating the same event that happened many years ago..

"It's better if he'll not come here anymore, I will eventually die in peace knowing that he's still alive"

Lies, these are all lies. I don't want to leave him here, I want to live happily ever after with him, I want to graduate, I want to get married to him and have a family of our own. I want to hear our children's voice, I want to see their faces and I want to be happy.

I want to live because Slater is still alive and is continuously loving me unconditionally, I want to live because I love him...

"Alive but broken. Would you just let go like this Irene? Are you just going to leave him hanging like this and go?"