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~Hold On~

Irene's P.O.V.

I opened my eyes, hoping to see the familiar warm ambiance I always see when I woke up, I want to see the sun greeting me, the cool breeze waking me up and the comfty matteress surrounding my small frame. But instead I woke up in a hospital again, the same beeping sound of my heartbeat as once again heard in the midst of the silent ward.

Wendy, Zoe and Jared have not yet payed a visit today as they still have to go to school, Zoe wanted to just sta here and take care of me but dad detest. I just had drunk a morphine, a pain killer used for patients with cancer and it sometimes makes me feel groggy and sleepy but it's fine. Mom and dad were also unable to come this early morning probably because they're still asleep, now, I'm all alone.

A knock made me alert as I dreamt of only one person to come and see me then I would really be happy, if only he, could come here for me...

"You must've been expecting someone else, I'm sorry I came here to check on your health. Can you tell me what you can feel?" Dr. Kim, my female neurologist visited me, I gave her a polite smile as I couldn't really express anything as of now. I actually can't see her face clearly nor do I can breathe properly, good thing I can still recognize her voice durinv the first time she visited me.

"I've been feeling quite dizzy and my vision seems a bit hazy in times when my headache keeps appearing" I explained, actually yesterday I almost had a seizure as I couldn't breathe properly and I thought I was almost blind, everything was black and I was scared not knowing what I should do.

"When you're having your headache, what's the range of it's pain from 1 to 10?" While she's asking me this, she pulls out a penlight and positioned it on my eyes, I followed the blinding light and sighed in relief when I realized I could still see. My vision is still perfectly fine.

"8, it feels like I couldn't breathe and my lungs are getting burned" Now Dr. Kim held my hand and started pinching them, to gain a locomotor activity from me. She started pinching every finger in which I took my hand away from her because of the pain, but when my pointer finger was pinched I could hardly feel anything, I began to worry once again.

"I think you're doing a great job on having a rest, though I want to advise you personally as my patient that an operation needs to happen to be able to make you live normally. Your tumor had eventually affected your vision and even some locomotor movements which also explains why you can't sometimes move your index finger"

I was also said to be monitored every minute as my breathing signs aren't that normal, I also used the oxygen mask yesterday and earlier it was changed to nose  just to guide me on how to properly breathe.

"But would there be a high chance of survival if I'll undergo surgery? Will everything go back to normal again?"

"We still have to study your case once again, there's a high risk that you might be put in danger once we operate you as your tumor is quite big than we've seen" Please, I'm getting scared... Slater please, I need you...

"For the mean time, I'll give you some time to think about my preference. It's up to my patient if she wants to be operated or not but I'll increase some of your sedatives to lessen the pain you're feeling. Excuse me" Tears started pouring from my eyes just when Dr. Kim turned her back towards me, I'm scared... I don't know what to do anymore.... But in the midst of my pain, I was still able to see the person who entered my room with a sad smile...

"Slater"

Seeing him made me break down more as I remembered how hopeless it is already for me to live, how hopeless it is for me to be with him because I'm already in risk....

"I heard what the doctor said, you must really undergo surgery right? Or else your tumor would be more big and will suddenly affect everything" Those were the first words he said to me as my breathing suddenly started to drop, I was crying because I saw him again, my heart was beating more fast because of him also.

"But there's no specific chance of survival if I'll do the surgery, my life might only be placed in danger if I'll let them open my head up" I managed to breathe and spoke, Slater slowly walked towards me and stopped before he can reach me.

"You're afraid of lossing me are you? You're afraid of me being an introvert person again if you'll eventually leave my side. You're scared that one day I'll wake up and I'll be all alone again" That's all because I love you....

"Those are the reasons why you're refusing right? It's because of me" It is because I want to be with you until the end....

"You don't have anything to do in this, just stay away and prepare for the league in the next few days" I added, burdening him would only make it painful for him, it'll be good if he'll just break up with me and leave me...

"What kind of boyfriend am I to leave my girlfriend here and chose to play basketbell than staying by her side in times when she needs someone to lean on to? What kind of person am I to trade love over my hobbies and likes?" Tears continued streaming down on my cheeks as I bit my lip, I tried not to let any sobs escape but it was hard as Slater's hand finally found mine and intertwined it together.

"We're both scared Irene and I know that I'm already as strong as steel since you changed me and made me who I am today. You built me and made me stronger, the one who's not ever fearful of facing my problems"

"Heather and you are both diffrent persons, I fell in love with you not because you have the same personality as her. I love you because you're you and I wouldn't ever want to repeat the mistake I once did, I came here personally to convince you to do the surgery for you to survive"

"Heather died because she did the surgery-" I argued but Slater wiped my tears for me and gave me a kiss on my forehead.

"And I was the reason why she died, she's not healthy and it was really too late when we found out about her disease. We still have time today Irene, we still have time to save you and I wouldn't waste my time suking in my room thinking that you'll die"

"I love you and that's what's imporrtant, I want you to remember those words even when you're laying on that cold bed while the doctors are operating you. I love you and that's what matters"