Murderville - Audrey Jensen

*Chapter 30 - Feelings*

(Warnings : a lil sexual, a sad vibe but overall pretty cute

Word Count : 1015

Song: Intertwined, Dodie)

Vicki let out a small sigh, holding her sore wrist as she studied the sketch in front of her. She had been dreaming a lot recently, mainly about her mother; her smile, her voice, the way she used to sway to smooth jazz but then as soon as an eighties song was on she was jumping around like a teenager. All these little things constantly in the back of her mind, it had started to build and build until they were no longer happy little memories. Now they were weights.

Having no other alternative she decided to draw, and think about her mother as she did so to try and ease the pressure that had taken hold of her.

Feelings were supposed to be good things.

But she was praying to be numb again.

To feel nothing. To be nothing.

A gentle knock on her open door made the girl freeze, looking up sharply.

"Room for one more?" Audrey held a pack of beer in one hand and some candy in the other.

"Always" Vicki patted the space beside her, moving the book to give her friend more room.

"That's beautiful" Audrey motioned to the drawing, trailing her finger gently around the curve of the sketched woman's jaw "Is it your..."

"Yeah" The ginger nodded "That's her"

"She looks nice" Audrey bit her lip, noticing how stressed her friend looked "She'd be really proud of you"

"Thanks" Vicki sat back, letting out a small sigh "But I don't think so"

"What do you mean?" the small girl frowned.

"My mother was this amazing person; you know the kind where they just walk into a room and all of a sudden the atmosphere changes. Like she literally had sunshine radiate off of her"

"I can think of someone like that, yeah"

"And well, I always tried to be like her when I was younger. But now, I feel like every time I walk into a room laughter dies"

"That isn't your fault, you've been through a lot this year-"

"We all have, Auds" Vicki shook her head "Yet I'm the only one that can't seem to shake this feeling that it isn't done yet. Every time I go outside I can feel someone following me. Every time I go to sleep I feel like someone's in the room. I'm scared to pee for Christ's sake, in case someone jumps out from behind the shower curtain"

"It's gonna be okay" Audrey reached out to move a stray ginger curl from the girl's face.

"I don't want to feel afraid anymore...I...I don't want to feel anything" Vicki closed her eyes "I just want one minute where I'm numb from the world"

"I think I can help with that" Audrey fiddled with her phone until a slow relaxing song was playing gently. Getting up rather clumsily from the bed, she held out her hand for her friend.