Lawyer Levi

Doctor Deja Vu

The first few steps into Carson's generously decorated lobby induced a deja vu empty hearted emotions in myself as Junith stood close to me with her dissent disposition that restrained herself from saying anything at all.

But the panel of pale faced housewives with heavy, droopy eyes and their hands clutching the smooth edges of magazines gave her a shriek of shame, an in-dignifying sight of the other side of trust dropped a loud hint whilst they pan their faces towards us in careless ganders.

From momentarily lapse of reality, I expected my wife to see, sitting in one of those couches with her legs crossed under her steady piece of mind that was eternal and no power in this solemn earth could change it so.

But to my relief, she was not there as she was not supposed to since our ways parted 6 months ago and even though I never admitted it to anyone, not even myself, but I was still longing to see her in one of those days where miracles were bound to happen.

I sat motionless with my hidden glances of 3 women and a man who were quieter than the furniture and already occupied themselves in their own guilt. I wondered how many of them I would see in my office in the last week of April or soon but then Junith who sat beside me and wore the same heavy look shot up to hear her name.

The announcer appeared from behind a glossy wooden door and the clutched up clipboard on her hand cycled Junith's name as she deployed one last sight.

I laid myself back in a leisure manner with the thought of departure already ruining my psychological palette when she stopped in the middle of this too spacious lobby and thew me a look of wanted company across to me.

The woman with the clipboard was quite possibly being the secretary of Carson's ecosystem. She raised an eyebrow on my joining with a hushed voice that indicated the fact, " Sunday was not couple session " but " Individual meeting " .

My suit with its tired markings of battled tie along with convincing nods let us into the hall as the blonde, healthy woman on the opposite sofa presented me with a disturbed look, as she possibly mistaken me as Junith's other better half who was not good enough.

Maybe much like her own spouse.

Even though the secretary secreted the polite urgency to point to a side door in the wall, I did not require the instructions since I suffered the misfortune of being here.

She opened the door for us then with the clicking of her shoes mended into the background. The open door revealed the sight of a simply dressed man who was monetarily busy at sliding a stuffed bundle of tissue papers into the waste box.

He let out a grunt then emitted a warm greeting as Junith and he shook hands with the cord of introduction being finally cut. She sat down on the couch in front and her eyes wandered around to the study, possibly imagining how many women and men sat in the same spot and quarreled among themselves about the same milestone of their lives.

I was invisible from the ceiling high bookshelf, the comfortable opening of afternoon rays, with a vase of flower on a lamp table that fought hard to delay its death.

" Has anyone come with you? A friend or. . . a " The question from Carson deflected onto me as her stuttering face nodded in the general direction of my silhouette.

I let out a sigh as a newborn embarrassment with an old, over stayed anxiety trickled down my spine.

" Hey, Carson. " I greeted with just my head visiting the cool, controlled atmosphere of his study. " Graham? " He asked the question to himself as in the next split moment, disregarded Junith's presence and progressed towards me with a smile of disbelieve hanging loosely.

He was a simple man, Antoine Carson, who in the overrated and fearful mid life of past 30, did not follow the flow of modern men as he was more mature than me and quite accurately far better in certain humane traits that I never had the audacity to harbor.

His vanilla white shirt had no false pretense of displaying the face of any artificial happiness and unlike the rest of us, he quite liked the way his life was panning out to be, in the crooked path of ups and downs I was so inclined to hate.

" Carson. "
" Graham. What are you . . . doing here? "

" I came here to see you. What else can you think of? " The humerus buzz of my tone was to drive away the bitter taste this uncertain meet had the chance to produce.

" Really? I was hoping you would call sometimes. Well, you do but you talk more business with my assistant than anything with me and that's . . . about that. "

" Is it ever too late? " I spread my hands in a receiving manner as the silence directed both of us to the third creature in the room who felt ignored.

I followed my witty idea to accelerate my escape as I shifted our eyes towards her. She had become part of the room from not saying anything at all and her keen eyes stuck to our conversation with an irritated interest.

" Carson, I called the desk last Friday and earlier this morning to get an hour in for my . . . um friend Junith Chambers here. "

" Oh, did you come along with her? "

" Yes. I'm just here to show her around to you. She's a great friend of the Parson's actually. So . . . I uh . . . yeah. "

" Well, that's nice of you. " He stated innocently and then in friendly silliness crooked a smile at me. " She must be a special friend then. "

I performed a blunt nod and a dull smile to disperse the aura of his joke as the excursion of my getaway commenced. The final sight of her innocent, mild toned face upon which the bottlenecked secrets laid and in the passing hour or two, they will be presented to Carson.

An unsolicited, glorified revolution of some wondering urge sprouted on the skeleton of my mind with a wish to spoil the burden of sanity.

I simmered the rise of the thought and decided not to provide any power to it as I retreated back to my couch, with the same news filled magazines on my lap and a florescent smell in the air.

And all I did, unintentionally and unprovoked, sailed on to the cycle of a daydream whilst the fat, coarse woman from the other couch made the same spiteful declaration of her emotion.

It was clear to me, the fact, she had made a decision, an objectiveness was set and seen since her cheeks did not puff anymore with longing breathes but stay very still in stiff way.

Decisions?

I liked the entrance of commitment in what she was doing at the precise moment but I, a skeptical critique of modern human maxim, could not let the chink of worry fade away from the momentary sigh since she had taken a decision.

I was never a fan of double thoughts even though I always practiced the art of misanthropy.