I will be saved by you

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The New Year

Ally POvDear Ally 

I am so so proud of you, I thank God everyday that I adopted you late last year. I am so excited for this new year because I know that this year you are going to become the warrior I know you are, you are going to realise how much you are worth, how much you mean to everyone important in your life and most importantly how much you mean to me. The moment I laid eyes on you I felt something, I felt that I had to help you, that you and I were so similar and you have given me the most amazing life the last few months. I was so emotional over christmas because I saw the real you, I saw the you who accepted herself, I saw you glowing with happiness. I couldn't contain my tears christmas night and when you were off with Mads and Mar I couldn't help but cry to mumma about how proud I am of you. You are going to have your struggles, your fall backs, your doubts but I am going to be there with you through everything. My heart is now complete with you in my life. You turned sixteen on December the 30th and I gave you the silver locket with the photo of us in it to show that I am always by your heart no matter where I am or you am, if I am travelling or you are travelling I will always always be there. You are my babygirl and always will be my baby girl. Ally Lovato this is our year, this is our year to slay, this is our year to start fresh. I believe in you baby, I always will believe in you and nothing will ever change the way I feel about you. I don't know what else to write in this letter but I can't emphsie enough how much you mean to me and how much I love you. Baby girl, you are only going to be my only child. When I went into treatment and was disgnosed with Bulimia I also found out that it had gone so far that I had no chance of having children. I was shattered that day, that was the day I first harmed myself in treatment, the only other person that knows about this is Max, I can't bring myself to tell mumma or pappa so when you asked to call me mum I was so touched, I was so touched that you wanted to call me mum and that someone in my life will call me their mother. Ally Jane Lovato I love you with all my heart.

Love Mum xxxx

As I finish reading the letter mum had just given me I couldn't help but just cry, this woman who was my idol, my saviour just six months ago was now my mother, she cared for me, she wanted me here, in this world and to share her life with me. The part that really set me off crying was when she told me she couldn't have kids and that she didn't want to tell mama and papa about it because she fells that it will disappoint them. I was going to be Demi Lovato's only child and she actaully wanted me to be her only child. 

I went to find Demi in the hotel room as we had gone to Mexico for a little vacay for two weeks, I found her curled up on the couch watching no other than the ID channel. I cleared my throat and with that she looked up at me with that glistening smile and those beautiful deep brown eyes, my mum was beautiful. She waved me over for a snuggle and of course I accpeted. Bouncing my way over to the couch I launched myself onto mum for the biggest cuddle. 

"Baby why are you crying?" Mum asked me

"I just read the letter De-Mum and it was so touching, I can't believe you told me what you did. I am so proud Mumma, I love you with every bit of my heart, I can't express how much I actually love you. You, the Demi Lovato are my mother, and you let me in on one of your darkest secrets. For that I want to get better for you, I want to be able to say that I am happy and mean it." I let it all out, I tell her how I feel, I love this woman with my life and I will do anything for her no matter how extreme it is.

"Oh baby, I wanted you to start the new year with me being able to show you how much you mean to me, I wanted you to be able to have that letter and whenever we fight or you don't feel like I love you I want you to be able read over it and remember that I do love you. You are my daughter and I don't care if you are just 16 or 20 you need to know everything about me, I know that I have shared most of my story with the world and you being a lovatic know what I have told but I obviously didn't tell it all. You being my daughter now need to know it, you need to know that I trust you and that you should be trust me like I trust you." Mum kissed me on the forehead and got up and went somewhere.

30 minutes later mum came out in the lounge room area of the hotel room, I mean it was huge of course becuase my mother has to be Demi Lovato do I have to remind you. Anyway she came out in her swimmers looking hot, okay I know she is my mum but I can still fangirl when I want, I just can't show it to much or that would be weird. 

"Uhmmm lets go Ally, I wanna go swimming and I don't have all day to wait for you to get change" Mum said with sass

"Mum can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can, you don't ever have to ask me that missy"

"Okay, I am still getting used to calling you mum I was wondering if I can still call you Demi as well. It's not that I don't like calling you mum because I really really love it, it's just that I have been a lovatic ever since camp rock and it's a big transition for me--" I was cut off

"Ally, calm down, it's okay, I totally understand! I don't love you any less and I know you don't love me any less. Now go and hurry up, I need my swim!!!!"

"Okay Okay Okay, I'm going. Oh and Demi.... Thanks" I went into the room I was staying in and got my swimmers on and while doing that I was thinking to myself that because Demi was being so open with me I am going to be open with her, I am going to tell her something I have never told anyone in my life and never planned to, until now.

Okay okay, I know another long wait, I'm sorry! I just can't find motivation to write and I feel really bad but I just don't have any. Anyways what do you think Ally's secret is oooooooooo!!!

Go follow me on twiiter yeah: @lushiouslovato

Stay Strong chickens xxxxx