I will be saved by you

Believe In Me

Demi POV

After the beach Ally had sat me down and said she needed to talk to me about something. I am super curious but also super scared in what it might be, now she is 16 she can actually leave me and be independent and all that sort of shit. Anyway Ally was just getting changed into a college jersey that she somehow managed to find and pj shorts, as I was waiting on the lounge scrolling through instagram after posting a photo of myself on the beach, Ally had made an appearance. 

Sitting down on the same lounge and me she turned to face me cross legged and it looked like she had been crying. Oh no, this is not good. 

"Look Al, before you say anything I just want to let you know that I am going to be here for you no matter what you tell me." I say, giving her reassurance that I will love her unconditionally no matter what. 

"Th-thanks Dems" she gets out trying to hold the tears back, she pauses for a moment and looks down at her hands before she starts to fiddle with them and takes a deep breath in. 

"You know how I told you at starbucks I saw my brother and I wanted nothing to do with him?" She questions me

"Yes, fair enough, like you said you wanted a fresh start and a clean slate" 

"Well there is another reason why I want nothing else to do with my brother. When we were younger like before mum and dad started to fight and all that shit, they would always have weekends away and dads work friends who were like family would look after us. One night the guy who was looking after us fell asleep on the lounge, so Zach told me to go to my room and he would play with me, being young I was so excited that my older brother was going to play with me, but his play with me and my play with me were two totally different things. He did things to me that I would never have dreamed of my brother doing to me, he was eight at the time so I don't know how he knew what that stuff was and even how to use his dick but when I started screaming for him to stop because it was hurting me and told me to shutup because this is what adults did and that if I didn't stop screaming he would get bad people to come and get me. Confused as hell now that I actually look back on it trying to figure out how an eight year old would be so well planned in this situation makes me think he was put up to it or something. That was the first time he had done it to me, when he left I couldn't be able to tell you how many times that same incident occured and because I was so young I didn't know that what he was doing was wrong and I knew that if I told my parents they wouldn't believe me, because Zach was the golden child." Ally manage to say it all before breaking down in front of me. I was shocked, how could someone so young go through all this pain and her family being the cause of this pain for her. It wasn't fair.

I pulled her into a hug because I saw by the way she was fiddling and moving it was only a matter of time before she was going to bounce up and sprint to the bathroom and hurt herself. I was so proud she told me this story but what made her open up to me about this all of the sudden?

Ally POV

I was sitting on the couch in Demi's arms crying my eyes out. I held it together telling Mum what Zach had done to me when I was younger but as soon as I finished I just had to let it all out, I just wanted to cut but Mum saw by the way I was fidgeting that I was wanting to do it and that's how I ended up in her arms. I couldn't control my sobs and I felt that the air around me was becoming constricted and that I was being put into an air sealed box. I couldn't breathe and I felt that I was going to die right then and there. That's when I heard the soothing voice of my now mother telling me to match her breathing. 

"In and out Ally, breathe in and out for me. You can do this, just copy me please." She said gently while rubbing circles on my back. 

About five minutes later I still didn't feel any better, I calmed down a bit but not as near as much to be stable again. Trying to match mums breathing was hard but thats when she stopped telling me to breath in and out and she started singing Lightweight. Her beautiful tone, her amazing vocals and her gorgeous words calm me down in almost an instant and I felt that the air sealed box had exploded and I was now in the middle of the beautiful amazon rainforest with all the air in the world. When mum realised I was okay now she stopped singing and just held me. 

It had been about ten minutes of comfortable silence before mum questioned me on why I had randomly opened up to her about Zach. 

"Your letter made me realise that you put so much trust in me and that you can tell me anything no matter what and it made something click in my brain that I needed to tell you the rest of my story. There are still little bits that you don't know but they aren't to important and aren't crucial to my life. For you to open up to me about not being able to have kids must of been so hard for you and would've taken so much courage and I needed to return it somehow in a sense of respect. I felt guilty knowing that you had told me your darkest secret and I hadn't told you mine when you are helpng me to try and recover." I needed Demi to know that I can trust her with everything as much as I didn't want to trust anyone in my life this woman did save me many times without even knowing me. 

"I have no words Ally, I am literally so proud of you, you don't understand. You make me the proudest mother ever and I am so glad that you realised to start recovery everything needs to be out in the open for it to actually start to work." Demi said still with me in her arms. 

If there was someone in the world that I would trust Demi would be that person. I dreamed of the day that I could tell her my story and how she saved my life before I met her and now that I am actually her daughter all I had been doing was hiding stuff from her and it isn't fair on her. She already has so much to deal with, with being a major superstar and for her daughter not to open up to her fully must've been heartwrenching for her. If I was a mother I know I would want my child to tell me everything, my mother is a bloody superstar because she has saved millions of lives oh and has the most rawest and amazeballs voice in the whole industry but that's besides the point. 

"Mum, I am sorry" I tell her with guilt evident in my voice.

"What for sweetie?"

"For not being honest with you from the start, for not telling you my whole story, for sneaking out back in Australia, for not wanting your help. For everything really, I need help and I am going to be the first to admit it. For instance right now all I want to do it cut, hold that piece of metal to my hips and slice them apart and that isn't normal. A fifteen year old girl living with her idol, who is now her mother shouldn't be feeling that way, she should be lapping up the fame and the fortune, she should be posting photos of her and her mother on instagram and twitter saying 'be jealous my mum is your idol' but I'm not. I haven't even put a bloody picture on instagram of us together because I am to scared in what people are going to say about me. I am controlled by voices, I can't even control myself, again not normal. I think I am ready for recovery. When we get back to LA I want to start recovery, I need to do this to prove to myself and to prove to you that I do have strength and I do have willpower to fight this diesease."

I am actually so shocked with myself in what I just said, I mean I wasn't really even thinking about what I was saying, I just said it. I kinda regret what I said because I don't want to go back to eating but now that I have said what I just did mum is going to make sure that I will stick to my word and there will be no going back on it. 

"Ally, babygirl, I am so proud in what you just said. As you can see I am crying and these aren't sad tears, these are happy tears because I can't believe what you just said. I know rigth now you are regretting it, I can tell, I can see it in your eyes, I can tell by your body language. You and I both know this is going to be so hard to do, but you know you have a strong support network. You have our family, you have Rissa and you have me cheering you on every step of the way. I am not going to let you change your mind. I know you are going to have relapses because that is part of recovery but I know that with those relapses you are going to come out of them stronger than ever. It's been a long afternoon filled with wild emotions. Lets say we go to my bed and snuggle while watching movies and tomorrow we have to start packing because we leave to day after." Mum said this and I couldn't believe that this was actually happening, I was going to try recovery and my mum is going to be there to support me, my mum being the one and only DEMI LOVATO, every lovatics dream may I add. 

I am going to do this for mum, for our family, for me and also for the lovatics out there who are struggling to see the light. I am going to be just like my mummy. 

A/n okay I think this may be my longest chapter ever and I actually am happy with how it turned out not going to lie. I would also like to thank you everyone who is reading this because without you this book would be nothing and it also wouldn't be up to 6425 READS! Like I was expecting this to only get to like 100 reads or something. So seriously thanks to all of you. 

Leave me feedback pretty please and don't forget to vote and comment but also follow me wooooo! 

STay Strong xx