Intergalactic Prison

Part 33

Ugh. My back and shoulder hurt, and my butt was numb. I rolled over and accidentally elbowed (Y/N) in the side. "Sorry," I mumbled, moving a hand to wipe at my eyes.

Shit. We had passed out, naked, in my den. No wonder I was cold.

I lay back down on my back for a moment. I couldn't believe I had brought (Y/N) to my den! It was the only personal space I had! It made me feel, weirdly, like I was being unfaithful on a whole, new level.

From another perspective, I now probably needed to clean my yoga mat. Dammit. It was that or asking Kama to send that horrible janitorial droid to clean up my sex mess.

Should I bring a mattress in here, some blankets, in case it happened again? Inwardly, I rebelled at the idea. That was like giving in to the present situation, trying to dress it up as acceptable. I had to remind myself that it wasn't, not at all.

I felt a horrible feeling of creeping guilt. It was insidious and kind of despairing, totally undeniable. I had to acknowledge that some part of me felt some happiness, a sort of peace here, with (Y/N). Because of (Y/N).

Why? I didn't like stasis; I liked to be doing things, all the time! And nothing ever changed here; I couldn't get anything done! Not for my life, not for my family back home, I practically existed in a vacuum.

Except for (Y/N). I liked her smile; I liked her company. And, frankly, the sex was amazing, even with condoms. I groaned unhappily, apparently loudly enough to wake (Y/N) up. "Whutfuck? Shit, my arm hurts... ugh..."

I chuckled. "Sorry. Apparently I fucked us both asleep."

In the back of my head, I realized, on some level, that this was the first time in a long time that I'd stayed with (Y/N)... afterwards. The shitty, guilt-ridden feeling returned, and I decided that I had to get away from (Y/N) as soon as possible. I was about to get grumpy, and she didn't deserve to be subjected to it.

I rose to my feet and pulled my pants back on, not bothering with anything else. I knew it'd all be gone, laundered somewhere, and returned to my dresser within a few hours anyway. "I'm gonna go back to my room and take a shower..."

For a split second I almost asked (Y/N) if she wanted to come join me, before realizing what that would signify, yet again. I had to fight that urge to just accept things. Not just to maintain my drive to get out of here, but for Jules. "I'll, uh, see you later."

With that, I took off, barefoot, down the hall, in too much of a hurry to mess with my shoes. I could hear (Y/N) sighing in my den behind me, and my shoulders slumped. It felt like there was no way to avoid hurting everyone in this fucking situation!