I Won't Leave Again (Touken)

Chapter 2: Letter

For what seemed like an eternity, the room was dead. Roma was shocked that the amazing Kaneki somehow died and Yomo and Koma were silent. Touka had her head down slightly trembling trying to take this all in. 

Finally, Hinami wailed. 

"NOOOOOO! ONII-CHAN! WAAAAAAAH!". Kaya grabbed her and held her close as she cried. 

"What..What happened?" Nishiki finally spoke. 

Yoshimura responded. 

"Well... based on what Banjou informed me, they were raiding a lab trying to get information when the CCG launched an attack. Banjou last saw Kaneki heading up to the top floor but shortly after noticed the investigator known as "The Reaper" and three others following him. Banjou said knew he would die if he stepped in so he figured he'd let Kaneki take care of it. Shortly after, bombs started going off in the building and the whole place was quickly set on fire and collapsed which we saw on the news. They barely made it out and were unable to find Kaneki figuring he didn't make it out or was badly wounded fighting the investigators... Kaneki also told them if he wasn't back in two weeks if they got separated to assume he was dead.." 

"You mean they didn't find a body?" Nishiki spoke. 

Yoshimura pondered a response as he looked at Hinami bawling. 

"They found plenty bodies... Including some that were likely on the top floor... and considering what we know about Kaneki he would be back by now." 

Touka felt like she wanted to puke. 

"Why do I care so much" She thought. 

"There is one thing however you all will want to hear" Yoshimura spoke to the room. Everybody looked up including Touka who's one exposed eye looked vulnerable to hurt. 

"Kaneki forced everybody in his group to write a goodbye letter so they could speak to loved ones and family in the case that they passed. Here I hold Kaneki's... I haven't read it..." 

"Read it aloud" Nishiki quickly spoke. 

Everybody nodded as Touka simply stared at the unfolding letter in his hand. Yoshimura started slowly.

Anteiku,

"Hello everybody if you're reading this than unfortunately I'm no longer with you, but I want you all to know that everything I worked for was truly for all of you. All of you and Hide are the only family I really have. I wanted more than anything to get stronger and protect you the way you all protected me and to find a way for us all to live peacefully. That was my goal, but I failed. I just wanted to say a few things. If you get to see this: tell Hide thank you for everything. He was there when I was most alone. Koma and Kaya I hope you two find peace. Nishio take care of Kimi and thank you for turning into an unexpected friend. To everybody who followed me in my quest to gain peace thank you and do what you will from here on out. Hinami, I always thought and cared for you as a little sister. I hope you grow up strong and happy. Yomo, for teaching me how to defend myself and for being a good friend, I thank you. Yoshimura and Touka I owe you two the most. Yoshimura, for taking me in and teaching me everything about fitting in the ghoul world, giving me a job and a place to stay, I'd be dead if it wasn't for you. Finally Touka, there is so much I wish I could tell you. I wouldn't even know where to begin. Just know that you taught me so much that I feel I owe you everything. I cared for you deeply even if you were annoyed by my incompetence at times. Thank you for putting up with me. Sorry I'm not good at goodbyes I know they can be painful. But know that I loved you all and wish you the happiest peaceful future.

Your friend, Ken Kaneki

As he finished everybody continued looking towards the ground too upset to speak. Touka never fought so hard in her life to keep from breaking down right then and there. She wished she could have protected him, he didn't deserve this. 

Touka couldn't stay there anymore. She abruptly stood up and dashed out of the room. 

"Hey Touka, wait" Koma called out, but was ignored. 

"Let her go" Yoshimura spoke to him sadly. Hinami continued crying into Kaya's shoulder as the minutes passed like hours.

Touka lay under her covers, still in her Anteiku uniform, in her bed when tears finally fell. It had become routine for her to replay the bridge scene but it became 10 times more painful now that she knew that was the last interaction they would ever have. She thought of the awful things she said and the way she hit him. 

"I'm s-so s-sorry K-K-Kaneki. W-Why do you have to be d-dead, we n-never got a c-chance" she sniffed feeling more alone than ever. 

"W-Why did you have to fucking l-leave? W-What d-did you mean by things you w-wish you c-could t-tell me? You s-stupid idiot...." She cried through the night before finally falling asleep.