I Won't Leave Again (Touken)

Chapter 9: Confession

Panic took over. Touka jumped off the bed gritting her teeth. 

"No... that lying bastard couldn't have left." She dashed out the door. Darkness filled the hall, but she heard noise coming from the café. She tiptoed down the stairs and peaked out the door. There was Kaneki grabbing a glass of fresh water. Sighing, her heart rate slowed. She had jumped to conclusions and felt bad for not taking his word. Kaneki finished up and started cleaning the glass as Touka quietly went back to his room. 

Moments later, she heard footsteps in the hall. Kaneki came through the doorway and Touka shut her eyes, breathing softly, putting forth her best effort to pretend to be asleep. She heard the footsteps get close to the couch. She cracked her eyes open slightly and saw Kaneki's figure standing beside her. He lowered towards her. 

"Thank you Touka, for caring so much" he placed a small kiss on her cheek and quickly pulled away and jumped into his bed. Touka's face went completely red as her heart rate increased. 

"He just kissed me..... Kaneki just kissed me.... Do i get up and hit him? what do I do?" She had to calm down; so many thoughts were rushing through her mind. She had to keep her breathing regular, but it was difficult. Then to her surprise he started talking in a whisper. 

"Touka...you're not awake are you?" She didn't want to embarrass him so she chose to say nothing pretending to be asleep still. 

"OK good because there are some things I need to say to you, but I'm too scared to say to your face..." 

Touka perked up, never being more curious in her life. 

"Touka, I umm just want you to know that I'll always be around to protect you... You've done so much for me, helped me train, taught me how to survive as a ghoul; you showed me that ghouls are people too. To some, you may come off as cold, but I see past that. You're just such a caring person who wants to protect their family, like me. The way you supported Hinami through her pain and suffering; the way you came to my aid when Yamori took me, you have no idea how much it meant to me and how much I respect you. You inspired me to become a better ghoul and even though you may think of yourself as a cold killer, you're anything but. I know it's kinda cheesy, but I can't help how I feel. Ultimately what I'm trying to say is that..... I love you Touka, more than you'll even know. I'd do anything for you...even sacrificing myself if necessary." 

His voice started to fade. 

"Even if you don't feel the same it doesn't matter, I'll always be there and I won't leave again, that's my promise to you Touka" 

Silence.

"I wish I could tell you" He sighed. "I'm such a coward haha" He stopped and rolled to his back staring at the ceiling. 

On the couch lay Touka feeling frozen in time. Her eyes were wide as she couldn't believe the confession she just heard. She tried to think it over, but fixated on one part. 

"I love you Touka" 

Did she really love Kaneki like that? Before she could think anymore, she responded her tone harder than she intended. 

"You dumbass" 

Kaneki yelped, jumping up in his bed. 

"Oh my god! You're supposed to be asleep!" 

"Kaneki" 

"Touka I umm... I ummm" He fidgeted as he sat up in his bed.

"Kaneki, everything you just said.... Did you really mean it?" 

"....."

"....."

"Yes Touka I..I did, I can't help how I feel... I'm sorry" 

She raised from the couch. Kaneki eyeballed her every movement towards his bed. She stopped beside it and he froze in fear. He couldn't look up, but heard her voice. 

"I....l-love you too. Stupid Kaneki" 

It was his turn for his eyes to widen as he slowly looked up at her. As he did, he could see tears streaking down her face.

"Touka?..." 

"I love you Kaneki" She spoke again with her voice cracking slightly. 

Before she could say anything else, he jumped off the bed and embraced her. Their first ever hug. She hesitated at first startled by his sudden unfamiliar action, but quickly returned the passionate embrace. 

With their arms wrapped firmly around each other, Touka cradled her head between his neck and shoulder and whispered between sniffs 

"You idiot, why wouldn't you tell me?"

"I... I was too scared to jeopardize our friendship; I didn't want to lose you and" He stopped.

"A-and?" She removed her head and looked into his eyes

"I lead a dangerous life Touka, being here with you may have put you in danger. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything happened to you because of me" Seeing her hurt purple eyes, he started crying too.

"You act like I'm weak. Isn't it my choice if I wanted to take a risk?"

"I don't think you're weak... Touka, you helped me train, I'm just protective" 

"Stop being so selfish Kaneki, trying to control everything when it's not your decision, That's my risk and I'll choose if I want to take it"

"T-Touka?"

"With all our combined strength we're strong here at Anteiku there's no risk"

Kaneki smiled. 

"You're right like usual. Hey... Why were you pretending to be asleep? And why didn't you say anything to me?"

"You kissed me and I didn't want to embarrass you... but after what you said I couldn't help speaking. I didn't say anything because... Well I'm the girl it's not my job!"

"That's silly haha" 

"Shut up. I may have if you didn't leave..." She sniffed.

He went quiet, but pulled her head back into him.

"You idiot Kaneki... you idiot" With her head lodged between his neck and shoulder, she stopped holding in. She cried out into his neck as he held her close. She had been through so much with him she had to let it out. 

He pulled her down into his bed. They lay side by side pressed together entangled in each other limbs. She cried into him as he hugged her tighter than a boa constrictor can squeeze. 

As she trembled against his chest, tears came back to his eyes; he wanted the pain to stop. He gently stroked her purple hair as his cheek pressed gently against her head. Eventually, she stopped crying and relaxed against his chest, too comfy to move, she didn't care about her pride anyway she wanted him more than anything. Their legs were tangled. He had one arm wrapped around her back and the other around her head. Her arms were wrapped around his back

For the first time in many, many years she felt truly safe and protected. She believed in him.

Touka smiled as she never, ever would have expected to develop such strong feelings for this previously shy, weak seemingly useless boy she hated in the alley just about a year ago. She fell asleep in his arms warm, comfortable and content. Kaneki fell asleep with a smile on his face as he held her close.