I Won't Leave Again (Touken)

Chapter 17: Lost

The positive atmosphere surrounding Anteiku these last weeks were completely shattered in the wake of Kaneki's disappearance. 

A week had passed. Touka was looking sickly; she hadn't been eating or sleeping regularly. She needed support so Yoshimura called her into his office. Touka sat in front of him completely numb as he got right to the point. 

"I know you love him and I know that it hurts a lot, but it's only going to continue hurting if you don't try to move on. Kaneki wouldn't want you to be like this" 

"Sir, he'd do the same for me and with all due respect, I think you're wrong. I believe he's still alive" Touka started trembling and tears soon followed she tried to wipe them away, but it made her eyes red and puffy. He didn't know what to say to her. 

"Keep searching, if you choose, but try to eat and get more rest. We're all worried about you Touka. Promise me that at least" 

"...OK sir I'll do that" 

"Thank you" He went to her and hugged her. She leaned into his chest and sobbed for a few minutes before pulling away. She left wet tear stains on his uniform. 

"I'm sorry" 

"It's fine, go grab some meat from the freezer and eat. Please" 

"Alright" She cleaned her face and left. 

Yoshimura looked out the window and sighed. 

"Her will is so strong I hope she's right..."

The Next Day

Touka was working her shift when Hide entered the restaurant. He wore the same gloomy look she did. He took a seat on the stool in front of Touka, but kept his eyes on the counter. 

"...No sign of Kaneki?" She didn't answer, but instead continued cleaning a glass. 

"I guess that's a dumb question huh.. I'm sorry.." 

"It's fine" 

"It's just hard you know... doing this again he's my best friend" Touka slammed her fist on the counter making Hide jump. 

"He's not dead, he'll come back... or i'll find him. Either way, you'll see Kaneki again Hide" 

He nodded 

"... I believe you. I have to get back to work. See you around Touka" She said nothing as he left with his coffee. 

"I have to find him, not just for me, but for everybody" She looked up at the clock. 2 hours before her shift was over.

Another week later 

Kaneki was still lost and Touka was practically a robot. She would wake up and go out searching all day every day unless she had to work. 

At work, she would put in the bare minimum amount of effort; Numerous customers would ask if she was OK. She wanted to remain strong, but every day it got harder and harder to have faith. 

She had finished searching another ward, no luck, no lead, no Ken. 

It was getting late so she retreated back to Anteiku like a zombie, her sleepless nights had returned to her. She entered as Koma and Kaya were finishing cleaning up. Her head hung low as she walked up the stairs and into her room. She stood at the door for awhile thinking about how she should have been with them. Maybe together they could have done something. It had become regular for her to cry, but didn't have the energy to right now. She laid in her bed on top of the covers staring out the window unable to sleep as per usual.