Chapter 37: We Hurt When We LOVE!

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Love is hurtful, but a lover cannot hurt. This was what our love was supposed to be, but Can has just pulled up by our... the building of the apartment that was supposed to be ours. It raised many feelings in me and it hit me that this all has ended after years. Many people think that is okay, to look back at places that should mean nothing but it still means everything and here is the real issue.

"I don't want to go inside," I said as he opened the door to leave the car.

"Alaria, we need to talk."

"I don't want to leave this freaking car." I shouted my lungs out at him, he was getting to the deep of my heart and that's what he gets, "stop asking for the impossible with me. I have no energy for this war going on... That's not me. If you think I can stand this alone, then you are so faulty."

"I was always with you." He said softly.

"No, Can. I stood up alone! I've always been the one fighting for our love, with your father and with whoever tried to stop this. But, you want everything like a ready meal. I've always stood there and held what was inside me and made myself feel better about it when it was a guy sitting not even next to me. I've passed through days without you more than with you. I always tried to make you love me, but you never did. Do you think life can pass like this? I can't, I'm sorry. Yo..."

"Alari..."

"Don't Alaria me. I spent three months in my life alone in a country I didn't know anything about, any streets, any place or any person Can unrelated. I came back to see you with Melek and then, you left her to become with me. I heard things from her that no one could hold. I spent one whole month of preparing for your engagement with Daria who turns out to be in love with you. Your dad insults and humiliates me... and cuts off your bank money but you still don't believe that I love you. I'm sorry, but a stranger who left her country, friends, lifestyle and came to stay with you while you left her and her friend's will doesn't deserve all of this."

"Alaria, I never left you for my own good. My own good is with you." He said that after a while, "are you ready to lose this apartment and every imagination you have put in that place? If you are not, then follow me." He left the car and waited for me. Am I ready really? I started thinking before taking that step, I decided to get outside the car. Can stood in front of the car waiting for me, so I cleared my throat to announce my existence. He stood to me and gave me his most innocent smile.

"Do you accept starting a new, fresh start with me... without reminding each other of our pasts, no more lies or hiding emotions? Can you do this favor to me and give me another chance of being Mrs. Derinoglu, my wife?"

"What do I have to trust you really? You didn't even answer me! I have given you a lifelong freaking speech and you are here escaping."

"I'm trying to do something here. Listen to me... sorry won't mean anything right now. That's all I can ask for, a new page to start without thinking of the past or so?" Say yes. Alaria, say yes. Do I do what I feel like doing or what I'm supposed to be doing? Which of them is right? I stepped closer to him and threw myself into his arms, wrapping my hands around his neck and fumbling with his hair. He froze for a second, but then he wrapped his arms around my waist like he has always done, "No more staying away from ourselves or having to break each other. I want us to be together not against each other." I looked at him and joined my eyebrows at him, smiling at his manly attitudes. I missed his smell... I missed this. We broke the hug at the same time and he asked me to follow him. Obviously, it was to the apartment as it was the only known place. He handed me the keys as we were in the elevator. Can we really pass the past and live only and only the present? Can we? Can you? I didn't take me another moment to think about this when he pulled me by the waist and kissed me. My body flew to the sky, forgetting what I was wondering about. I wanted this. What is this even? Love? Chemistry? Passion? Attraction? I don't know, it's all of them maybe. As we left the elevator, I glanced Can, hitting him as I fixed my lipstick. My phone rang, but Can... Ughh.

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