My Friend's Will Accomplished {Part 2}

Chapter 1: The Old Start

                                                             What is the worst thing that could ever happen to a person in life? Why are we always the ones hurt? Why do we get punished for things that we don't deserve? Do we really believe in being positive? Do we deserve to be happy when we are not making ourselves so? Well, I have no answer for this all and by no answer, I mean that my brain is not working now. I don't know what is worse than one another, looking into someone's eyes who is telling you he doesn't love you, or loving that person, or wanting to throw yourselves into their arms that don't want us, or feeling numb, or being in a situation where you don't know whether to blame or to be blamed. I don't know if I hate him, or if I love him. Inside me at this current moment is only voices screaming together, some are shouting for me to slap him but I know I don't have the right to, some are telling me to try to understand or to believe that he was forced to say that but I know that from his eyes, they are different, some are telling me to push him and kick him out which makes sense, but my body doesn't appear to want to move. I didn't even gasp, cry or even try to express any of my feelings. I wanted to cry, I really wanted to, to be relieved but my tears have stopped and ironically, there are no more.

"Alaria?" I felt Can's hands in front of my face waving to make me aware.

"Yes." I smiled like a very normal thing has just being said.

"Get out of here," I said while inhaling.

"I'm sorry." I could see the sadness on his face, but couldn't help. I, in just three seconds, changed from sobbing to smiling, and from a smile to anger in just three seconds. He could only do this. Believe me.

"Just please go." My hands were made to a fist and my eyes were rolled the whole time, I promise.

"Malik would've never wanted to see any of this, I know. But, hi...." He was about to continue to I cut him off and spoke to my name.

"Malik wouldn't want me to be with someone like you, that's for sure." I looked into his eyes and then looked away because I don't want to pity him at all.

"Please, leave," I said in my softest voice.

"What will happen if I don't?" He seemed like he was taking it whole on easier than what he should be considering.

"You will...." I breathed heavily and took in as much air as I could.

"I won't do anything. Why are you here again?" I laughed at the sense of coldness in my voice when I shouldn't be. Nothing should be as it is.

"I'm going, to be honest with you, if it was anything better to be said, I would have said it. I didn't expect even thinking about it when you left. I then felt the empty space after months, during the months. Maybe someone to remind me of Malik." What is he trying to do? Make me feel better by his words? Really? I felt worse after what he said which is unanticipated. Every time he said Malik's name, it got more dirty and more killing.

"Look, I don't know what intentions you want to get, but you feel pathetic right now." I laughed again, making the pain better.

"Get out of this house." I stepped closer and pointed towards the door. His eyes were so red, cold, odious, cruel and unwelcoming. He then moved slowly towards the door, past me and then out till I heard the door being shut. Damn it. It reminds me of the first time he left here.

Why would someone you have known for just barely months mean to you more than the people who you have known for tens of years? Why would he mean to you the world and your life when he isn't even sacrificing to let you mean one thing to him even? Questions. Questions. I need him. I really do. I might just be used to him, but I just need him. I don't need him like he does, I don't need him because he reminds me of Malik, he is not Malik. I know that. But, he managed to be everyone else. My stupid head did. It managed to make every freaking, stupid memory with him to a huge deal. I understand that I need to do like him and forget him, but it's not possible. Rambles.