Breaking stones (Justin Bieber )

(Chapter 43) Is This The End

(Chapter 43) Is This The End 

4 years later

Oceans POV

I stared at myself in the mirror and looked at myself carefully; my eyes had bags underneath them and my eyes where sad, my hair didn’t feel the way it used to be and I was skinner than ever. I felt empty and alone, “what happened to me” I whispered, then my eyes welled up and I started to cry, I had never thought I would ever get to the stage of feeling so alone, I always had someone and I didn’t know what it felt like to be alone until now, no one loved me, no one cared, people didn’t even want to be around me anymore, I had only seen my children 10 times in about 5 years, I was hopeless and alone but I deserved it, I should have told him about the kids when I first got pregnant, but no stupid me though that I could hide a massive secret. I hated who I was, I wish I could be that girl who Justin first knew, I wish I hadn’t even got into this with him, I could still be with parker razing his little girl, but no I’m alone, but I guess deep down that I knew I would end up alone, it always haunted me every time I kissed him, every time he would tell me he loved me my world was spiralling into nothing, when once I had everything. I hadn’t been in touch with Justin since the last time I saw the kids and we didn’t even have a full convocation, he couldn’t even look me in the eye and that was over a year ago, I know he was happy now he had Lana and the kids and they where a perfect family, him and Lana where engaged and he was moving on with his life, I tried to do the same but I was a heartbreaker and my heart was made of stone, I was incapable of being loved or loving .

I stood there and stared at my Justin tattoo, “forever “I whispered, back up against the wall and slid to the bottom of it and just stared at my reflection “this has to end “I said, I stood up and pulled on a red dress and I put on some red high heels and then I done my make up, I tried not to cry, I walked out of my apartment and the cold Italian winter air hit my legs, I went round the back of the ally way and up the stairs that led to the roof, as I got to the top the tears rolled down my cheeks I walked slowly over to the edge of the building and climbed up and stood there, the once noisy city went silent as I stood there , I couldn’t hear anything but my heavy breathing and the sobs that I let out softly . I looked down and my head started spinning and the tears became heavier, “I’m sorry mom. I just can’t carry on with this “I wisped into the air “but at least I will be with you “I said I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, It was time....