Polishing The Edges

Chapter 29

I close my eyes and let his scent take over my body.

My thoughts remain clear.

While inside his arms, I feel like I'm the only person he ever cared about.

The only person who could ever fix him.

I was the only one who could teach him how to hold on.

I'm the only one who could polish his rough edges.

I'm sorry.

"It's alright." I answer him.

He sits in silence as I finish my apple.

"Hey." Niall's face appears in the doorway.

He walks over to the fridge and continues to whistle to himself as he looks through it.

I find myself resting my hand on top of Harry's thigh and mouthing "Just friends."

I quickly retract my hand and place it back into my own lap.

My eyes follow Niall to the fridge, who was now staring at us.

I feel my cheeks redden and I cover my face with my hands.

Harry just smirks and Niall does the same.

I'm quick to my feet and rush up the stairs and into the bedroom.

I lock the bathroom door and window and stare at myself in the mirror.

Embarrassing situations were like having stage fright for me.

My anxiety gets the best of me even in every little situation.

What if Niall thinks of me different now?

Will he still want to be my friend?

Does he like me like that?

What does Harry think?

Oh my lord I touched Harry's leg.

I've never done that before.

My thoughts are whirling around so fast, I don't even realize it until there's a knock on the door.

"Are you okay?" Niall's voice floods the small room.

"F-fine." I stutter.

His hand rests on my shoulder. "You've got to stop doing this to yourself, Ella. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry if I made you feel embarrassed."

"It's okay."

"Really stop beating yourself up over every little thing, you're better than that."

I almost want to reply.

I know I'm better than that, but my anxiety isn't.

"Thanks." I'm just glad he didn't make fun of me for it. I look up at the friendly blonde boy who cares about me.

He tries to brush a strand of hair back from my face, but I flinch away.

It's like you just want to hide behind baggy sweatshirts and lock yourself away from anyone who could care about you.

Harry's voice echoes in my mind.

Before I know it, I'm lifted out of the bathroom by Niall's strong arms.

I was so caught up in my thoughts, I didn't realize anything was happening.

"Yeah, she's getting better." Niall tells Harry. "Didn't pass out this time."

"Good." Harry's raspy voice makes me aware of reality.

I'm laid on the bed, for what feels like the millionth time.

"Just let her recover." Niall instructs.

"Hey, Ella. I'm sorry, again."

"I'm fine."

He nods and leaves the room.

"You okay?" Harry asks and sits down next to me.

"I just don't get why every time something happens I go into break down mode." I start to cry.

"It's okay." He wraps me in another hug.

I wish this Harry could stay all the time.

I just want this anxiety to stop. I shake in his arms.

"Shh.. it's okay, Ella."

I almost believe his convincing tone.

But then I remember it isn't okay, and I'm stuck with this.

Just before I close my eyes and welcome his hug, I see gold flash across the room.

This is him, Ella. Your savior is finally here.

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A/N: SLEEPOVER WITH MAI BÆ OMGGG but ilygsm so I made time to publish<33