The List

Chapter Twenty Four

A knock on the door wakes me from my peaceful slumber. I open my eyes, taking in the surroundings of my dorm room. The thoughts of last night come creeping into my mind, as I lie there. Rhett's touch, his kiss, and the way it felt to finally have him inside of me are real. Last night was one of the most magical nights I have ever experienced. He was so gentle, so in tune with my emotions and needs that it became so easy for me to give myself completely to him. I have been craving the feel of him, ever since the first kiss we shared at the beach; even then I knew it would be him.

The knocking grows louder, drawing me from the images of Rhett's body hovering over me, and I crawl out of my bed. I wince at the slight pain coming from between my legs, feeling the soreness, but allow myself to walk towards the door. Right before I unlock it, however, I realize I'm in my dress from last night. Quickly stripping out of it and putting on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top, I finally open the door.

Liam stands behind the door, smiling at me. "Hey, sis."

"Hey." I greet, still feeling groggy. "What are you doing here?"

"We didn't get a chance to really talk about your doctors appointment yesterday, so I just wanted to see how everything went."

He sits down on my bed, and I follow suit trying to hide the wincing as I cross my legs. I've tried to figure out how I am going to tell him, if I even will, that the cancer is back. The way he is looking at me, unknowing of my night last night, and like I am his healthy little sister still I don't know that I will be able to break the tragic news to him. He's still hurting from his breakup with Grace, the other night, so I don't know how much more heart break he can handle. He is my brother, though, and he deserves the truth.

I sigh, and lower my head praying the tears don't start falling before I can speak. Liam shakes his head and stands from the bed.

"No." He spits out, his voice breaking. "No, please."

A sob escapes my chest as Liam wraps his arms around me, pulling me against him. I knew this wasn't going to be something I could keep from my brother; he can see right through me. His arms tighten, and I can feel his chest heaving against my head. I glance up to see him fighting back his own tears, trying and failing to be strong for me. Like always.

When I was first diagnosed at twelve, Liam was fifteen. We had already been inseparable, but the diagnosis strengthened that bond. When I felt sick, Liam was by my side holding my hair back as I threw up, wiping my nose from the constant nose bleeds, and carrying me up the stairs to my bed after I passed out on the couch. He waited on me hand and foot, with no complaint, but I heard him cry himself to sleep on more than one occasion. It's always behind closed doors he allows himself to feel weak.

I pull on his shirt, forcing him to sit on the bed beside me. I lay my head on his chest, and he finally lets his sob go. My tears have stopped falling, but I allow Liam this moment. For once he's breaking, for once I get to be his strong arm, shoulder to cry on.

"Why didn't you tell me yesterday?" He questions, wiping his face.

"It was your night." I answer. "I didn't want you to not go out with the guys, just because of me."

"Care." He sighs. "I'm your big brother. It's my job to protect you."

I shake my head at him, starting to grow frustrated. "No, you did that seven years ago when I first got sick. You need to live your life."

"Did you tell Rhett?" He asks.

I shake my head. "I don't know how. I could barely tell you, Lee. I thought if I didn't say it out loud it wouldn't be real."