The List

Chapter Thirty Three

I can't believe Liam brought Rhett here. The one person I don't want to see is going to be sleeping ten feet away from me. I still haven't forgotten the way it felt to be in his arms, and kissed by him, like I hoped I'd forget. The moment his hands brushed my skin and his lips met mine, I knew I wasn't going to be able to stay angry with him. I've been silently longing for the feeling of his touch since the moment he walked out of my dorm room.

He told me I was already dead to him. He told me to go to hell. He slept with another girl, hours after confessing his love to me. I have every right to hate him, except to Liam. He thinks I'm being selfish, and need to swallow my pride. I could do that, and tell Rhett how hopelessly in love with him I am, and then we pretend the fight never happened. But what happens if we get in another fight like this? Will he say things like that again? Will he walk out? He didn't even come to say goodbye before I left.

Liam comes into my room, shortly after they arrive, and sits on my bed beside me. My arms are wrapped around my knees, brought to my chest, my gaze set out the window. When I hear the door shut behind me, my eyes turn into a glare.

"How could you?" I spit out. "I told you I didn't want to see him."

He rolls his eyes as he sits beside me. "Then why were you asking how he was doing?"

Now it's my turn to roll my eyes. I asked Liam twice if Rhett was doing okay, and now he wants to turn it into I wanted to see him. "I don't want him here."

"Well he's staying, sis." Liam sighs. "So you better just talk to him. He has a lot to say."

"Oh and what's he going to say?" I question. "More go to hell, you're dead to me kind of stuff?"

"Don't forget you lied." Liam says, standing from the bed. "You didn't tell him you were sick."

"So that makes everything okay?" I demand.

Liam shakes his head at me. "No, but it doesn't mean he's not trying to fix his mistakes."

When Liam walks out the door, leaving me alone, I let the tears continue to fall down my face; that's all I've seemed to be doing the last few weeks. Liam has asked me every day if I love Rhett, but he can never know the truth. I will never be able to say those words, out loud. The next hour is spent lying in bed, tears falling down my face, and the memories of Rhett's fingers brushing my skin playing through my mind. The same thing I've done since he walked out of my dorm room.

During dinner I could feel his eyes on me, like he was willing me to just look into his mesmerizing blue eyes again. If I were to have done that, I would've been in his arms in an instant. My mom was even under his charm, asking him about his family and his life. He's never even mentioned it to me, about his dad's work, how could he tell my mother? I had to leave, I couldn't stand to hear him open up to my mother about the things I didn't even know.

I lied in my bed for a few hours, wishing I could just sleep and forget that he is here, but sleep never comes. I spend all day Saturday in my room, trying to forget that he is here. Dinner he sits beside me again, but this time his eyes stay glued to the table. I climb in bed, feeling more alone than I ever have since I got home. Once again I am wide awake. Some time after two, I glance downstairs and notice all of the lights are off. I slip on some shoes and tiptoe my way down the stairs, grabbing my keys off the table by the front door.

I let out a soft gasp, and jump back, when I see Rhett sitting in one of the rocking chairs by the door. He turns and faces me, a smile appearing on his face momentarily, before regret flashes through his eyes.

He stands. "Sorry, I haven't been able to sleep. I'll go."

"It's fine." I sigh, feeling self conscious without my scarf on.