The List

Chapter Thirty Nine

"You are a match."

The words come out of his mouth, but for a moment I don't believe them.

"Rhett's a match?" I question.

My mom is sighing happily, knowing there's a chance of my survival. Liam and Nathan are grinning. My eyes are set on Rhett, and he stares at the doctor, excitement beaming in his own eyes. Now it's real, now he has no excuse not to do this. How can I allow Rhett to risk his future by saving mine though?

"He is, Carrigan, but it's up to you if we do the transplant." He states. "You need to decide now though, so we can begin prepping. The transplant will happen in three days if we prep tonight."

I glance around the room as I see the happy tears falling from my family's eyes. Rhett has a look of fear, but desperation in his eyes.

"Can Rhett and I have a few minutes alone?" I question.

He nods his head and leads everyone out the door. Rhett sighs and sits beside me on the bed, brushing my hair behind my ear.

"Why won't you let me save you?" He questions.

I shake my head, trying to stop the tears from falling down my cheeks. "Don't you get it, Rhett? You could risk losing everything for an operation that may not save me."

"At least I can say I tried!" He exclaims, taking my face in his hands. "I told you I would do anything I could for you, and that includes this."

"Rhett." I sigh, failing to keep myself together. "What about baseball? There's a chance you could never play again."

"If it meant I got to spend more time with you, I don't give a damn about the game." He states. "You are my future."

I let out a sob and wrap my arms around his neck. There's no changing his mind on this one, and I honestly don't think I want his mind to change. No one in my own family is a match, but the person I love most is. How can I deny him this chance to be the hero in my story? This transplant could put me on the path to recovery, and remission. This is my fighting chance.

Rhett pulls me away and places his lips against mine, taking away any ache in my heart I was feeling.

"Okay." I sigh, resting my forehead on his. "Okay, we'll do this."

He smiles and pulls away from me. "I love you Carrigan."

I place my palm against his cheek, and smile brightly back at him. "I love you too."

When everyone renters the room, I tell them the news. He reminds Rhett that this is completely voluntary and he can back out before any preparation begins. Of course Rhett declines and says he's sure he want to do this. He's so sure of himself, even in the chaos around us, and for that I am jealous. There's nothing I wouldn't give to be able to be so confident that everything will work out with the transplant, the radiation, and my future. There's no certainty with any of this, but that doesn't hold him back. If anything, it only makes his conviction stronger.

When he leaves, mom makes phone calls to family and friends letting them know the situation. Not exactly how Christmas Day should be spent, but we take what we can get. The remainder of the day, I'm forced to stay in bed so that I'm rested enough for prepping tomorrow morning. Against Liam's wishes, Rhett and I spend a few hours looking up what's going to happen during and after the transplant is done. Horror stories of things gone wrong have my mind overwhelmed and fearful of what's to come. Rhett's finally fallen asleep in this chair beside me. It's the first time in almost two days that he's gotten some sleep. I glance over over at him, wishing this wasn't the situation we were in. The sounds of his soft snoring have me close to drifting off to sleep, despite the haunting images playing through my head, until the door opens and my mom walks through.