The gender bender

Chapter 1

A name.... What's my name..... My name.. my name.. Sang. My name is Sang. No!!! It's not. Right it's Sam. Sam, you can do this Sang. Remember your new name is Sam. Because that's not a stupid name. "Hush you!" I scold my subconscious. Ugh how did we get here. I can tell you how. I could tell you my sob story of my mother who hates my existence, or the father who pretends I'm invisible, maybe even of my sister who was my only confidant and friend until recently. I don't know why we have reached this point or why these things happen to me. It doesn't matter. All that matters now is this is my life. My new life. I am no longer Sang the shy, quiet girl from Illinois. I am now Sam the mysterious boy whose moving to Charlestown. I can do this. I can remember that I am now a boy. Let's backtrack to why we are here.

My father is a business man. What exactly he does I don't know. All I know is his job has made it possible for us to live comfortably. Since he is in business he's never home. Always away on trips. We also move around a lot for his business. Which takes us to where we are moving to now. Charlestown South Carolina.

After the last "mistake" I made my mother decided we needed a new change of scenery. My mistake, yea apparently I can't talk to anyone. Male, female, students, teachers, neighbors, even the mailman. I made the mistake of answering the front door when the neighbors knocked on it. The kids were looking for their cat with their babysitter. Mom over heard me telling them we haven't seen the cat and she thought I was flirting with the babysitter. This mistake cost me greatly. I had to drink her concoction of vinegar and lemon juice twice. She decided to cut off all my hair. If I don't look like a girl maybe she could prevent me from acting like one. After she cut my hair I was force fed her vinegar and lemon juice. I still can't talk properly. After she told my father about my whoring ways they decided we should move immediately. So here I am, sitting in the back of the car as we move to our new home. I am no longer Sang. My mother has changed me into Sam.

Marie helped me fix my mangled hair into a spunky boy cut. We shaved off the sides and left the top longer. Marie doesn't often help me. She tries her best to stay away so she won't become my mothers next victim. She blames me. Marie told me Mom wasn't always like this. She became this way when I was five. I was told stories of where she loved us both and use to be happy. But I don't remember those days. My mother she is sick. I don't know what she has but some nights she wakes up screaming in pain. My father takes care of her physical medical needs. Since he's always gone though there is no one to take care of the mental ones. She takes medications that alters her mind. There are days I know she doesn't remember what she has done. As much as I want to hate her for the pain she causes, I can't. She is my mother and it's not her doing. Not her fault she is sick.

I digress. Here we are in Charlestown South Carolina. Moving to our new home on Sunnyvale court. I hope I can do this. I hope I can act like a boy and not disappoint my mother, or embarrass my sister. I hope I can keep myself sane while trying to be two people. Sam the boy my family wants me to be and still hold onto me. I pull out of my thoughts and stare at the new home we are pulling into. It's nothing to fancy. A two story house with tan paint. White shutters surrounding most of the windows. A pull around deck on the ground level. The roof wraps around the deck. That roof will be good for us to sneak out. True I tell my subconscious. As I look back to our house. There is a fenced yard but behind it are woods. What looks to be miles and miles of woods. I can't wait to explore them.

"SAM!!!" My mother screeches from the door way. "Stop daydreaming and start bringing in the stuff." I turn to look at my father and he is gone. Sighing I look longingly at the woods one last time before turning back to the cars. The moving truck arrived yesterday and the movers brought in all the furniture. We have a van with all our personal belonging left to take into the house. Marie shoves past me and heads into the house. She is going to claim whatever room she likes best. I accept my fate and start bringing in my mothers boxes.