The gender bender

Chapter 18

The boys are talking amongst themselves and are pulling out the homework for the day. As I start to pull my stuff out I feel my phone vibrate.

Nathan: peanut can we go talk for a bit? (3:30 pm)

I look up at Nathan's expectant gaze and nod, I start to walk to the door and Nathan follows. I see him do the eye speak with a few of the others as we walk away. The school is practically deserted since it's out now, we walk to the courtyard and sit at a lunch table.

"Sam listen, I am so sorry. I have a temper and when I am confused about something or when something new happens I have a hard time adjusting. I think it's time I tell you my story so you can understand why I am like I am. My family was a normal family, a mom, a dad, and me. My dad has always had a problem with his drinking. My mom didn't approve of it or the way he acted when he did it. My mother found out she was pregnant, I was going to be a big brother. When my dad found out everything changed."

He takes a deep breath and I put my hand on his knee trying to lend as much of my strength out to him.

"He went on a rampage that night, was so drunk it took him three days to sober up and by then it was too late. He started yelling at my mom, accused her of cheating on him and said a lot of bad things to her. Then when she fought back he became violent. He started beating her."

A shiver runs down my spine at where his story is headed.

"I tried to stop him but I was only seven and I wasn't big enough or strong enough to do anything. He threw me into a table and I wasn't able to get up. He grabbed my mom and beat her, then he took her to his car after grabbing his shot gun."

I gasp aloud at what he's saying, his eyes pinch shut and he grabs my hand that's on his knee.

"I was alone for hours terrified of what he did. Worried for my mom, the baby and even my father. When he came home she wasn't with him. He told me he didn't kill her that he gave her the choice, she could either leave with that abomination she was carrying or she could kill the baby and choose us. My mother refused him so he left her wherever he took her. It's hard for me to believe she left me with that bastard knowing how he was and what he did to us. The police never found a body, there was never a trace of her after that night. My grandparents never heard from her neither have her siblings, I can't help but think he did it he killed her. Because why am I not worth her saving. Why would she choose a unborn baby over her son she was with for seven years. Am I really that unworthy of love that my own mother abandoned me."

I go to say something anything to comfort him but he shakes his head at me.

"My father is still a very very sick man. He drinks anytime he is home. He is a pilot so thankfully he only comes home a couple times a year and only for a day or two. Kota helped me deal with him until I was strong enough to do it myself. Even then when there is a problem one of my brothers is always there for me."

My eyes mist at the story, imagining a small red haired, blue eyed boy suffering the way he did with no one to love him.

He looks at me with red eyes, "We can see the same hurt and pain in your eyes that we all carry in our own. I am not expecting a story for a story but I do want you to understand me. It wasn't that I didn't want to accept you into our group. It's that I see my brothers falling all over themselves to help you and be there for you. We have never had anyone like you enter our lives. I have known who I am since I turned fifteen and since meeting you I have questioned things about myself that I never thought I'd question."

I don't understand what he means, but I stay quiet and still. He looks away out towards the horizon, "So I am happy to be your friend, please be patient with me while I figure out what exactly is going on with me?"