The gender bender

Chapter 24

**since you have all been so patient with me double update. Thanks for reading***

Black everything is black. The only sound I can hear is a blood curdling scream, it is getting louder and louder. I feel wetness on my face and I try to open my eyes but I can't. My heart hurts as I remember all of my nine beautiful boys. I don't want to be in a world where their kindness is gone. I don't want to live without them. I know I haven't known them for long but their kindness, generosity, loyalty, strength, passion, everything that made them into the men they were gave me hope in a hopeless world. The screaming is getting louder and I open my eyes, I'm in North's jeep and I realize I'm the one making the noise. I close my mouth quickly and start to sob. I feel a pair of hand pull me out of the car and I look up into North's terrified face.

"What happened?" He asks and I can't stop sobbing, I touch his face and look around.

All the guys are out of their cars and surrounding me. We are at Kota's house. Oh god it was just a dream a horrible horrible dream. I quickly run at Gabriel and launch myself at him. He quickly catches me and chuckles into my ear.

"You ok trouble?" I shake my head

I look him over and touch his face then his chest. I walk to Luke next and go through the same process of touching.

"Hey cupcake," he says as he grabs my fingers and squeezes tight.

I let go and head to Sean shaking as I reach him. I touch his throats and look into his green eyes. He smiles at me and gives me a hug. Once I'm released I head over to Silas. He engulfs me in a bear hug and I whimper as he applies too much pressure to my ribs.

"Oy Frankenstein release the little one," he blushes and puts me down.

I touch his cheek and smile at him. I head over to Kota and count his fingers which gets me a chuckle out of him, I then touch his right side and look at his face. He squirms a bit and blushes. I let him go and head to Nathan, I look at his face and tentatively reach for his head. He bends down and lets me run my fingers through his hair and touch his temples.

He smiles at me, "You ok peanut?"

I nod and head to Mr. Blackbourne, he raises a brow at me and I shyly raise my hand. He grabs it and places it over his heart, I feel it beating and I sigh. He lets me go and smiles at me, that millimeter smile. Lastly I look at Victor, my prince the one who saved me in my dream. Even though I succumbed to the same fate as the others it was peaceful because of him. I walk to him and I touch his cheek. He blushes but looks at me with those fire eyes, I trace his cheek and lean up to hug him.

As he wraps his arms around me I whisper in his ear, "Thank you for saving me."

I let go and head towards my house instead of Kota's. Everyone was so confused by my behavior that they didn't realize where I was headed until I walked in the door.

I headed up to my room with tears streaming down my face, that was to date the worst nightmare I have ever had. I enter my room and close the door, as it shuts I slide down it and release the flood gate. I sob uncontrollably as I remember each one of them dead or dying. I cry because I realize I can't have them, and I am starting to fall for all of them. One how could I even choose any of them, two why would any of them want me, three they all think I'm a guy and I can't tell them no matter how much I want to. I am finally apart of something and I am letting my emotions and feelings ruin it. If they haven't noticed my odd behavior before what just happened will surely point out the obvious that I am a girl. Then what will I do? I won't be able to join their academy family, I'll loose the only friends I have ever made and I'll be alone again. Well being alone honestly isn't that bad it's just hard going back to that after experiencing what it's like to have friends a family. I need to start distancing myself from them, it's just so hard because they drag me in and make me feel wanted and needed.

My phone vibrates and I wince as it causes a pain to my sore ribs. I continue to cry and ignore my phone, minutes or hours pass I don't know how long. My phone won't stop buzzing and I need to take a shower, everything hurts. My head is on fire from the crying, I look for my pain meds and I take one. I grab a outfit to sleep in, a tee shirt and a pair of shorts, then I head to the shower.

As I wash away the day the events all catch up to me. My need for the guys throughout my day, Friday falls, truth or dare last night, Norths confession, Silas' brother and the dream. I shudder under the hot stream of water, I need to put space between us but it can't be physical. If they see me withdrawing they'll realize something is wrong. After the shower I'll get dressed and head to Kota's. I'll do the pool party tomorrow and spend Sunday with them. I just need to emotionally and mentally distance myself so it won't hurt once they are gone. As I come up with a plan I hear someone enter the house, quickly I dry off. I wrap myself up, throw on my towel and head out the door.

Listening I hear the steps by my mothers room. I slowly head back into the bathroom, I turn off the lights and slowly shut the door. I dress quietly and quickly in the dark. I try to find my phone but I realize I left it in the bedroom. I hear the footsteps reach my level and I stand behind the door. I hear quiet whispering, then Marie's bedroom door opens. I crack the bathroom and see Marie and Danielle in her room. I quickly run across the hall and grab my phone, I place it in my pocket and lay on my bed pretending I'm sleeping. I don't even know what time it is but the fact that it's dark has me assuming it's late. I hear my door open and I see a shadow cross to my bed. I feel fingers in my hair, suppressing the shudder I have is harder than I would of thought. I smell the sickly sweet perfume of roses and vanilla.

I feel the breath on my neck before I hear her say, "Sam you are to die for. One day we'll be together you just wait and see not even your sister will keep us apart."

She kisses my neck and quietly leaves. I shudder and try to figure out where Danielle got that idea. Once I hear them leave I grab my backpack. I keep in the homework I need to complete. I pack three shirts, the swim trunks my dad got me, a pair of gym shorts, some boxers, socks and two pairs of jeans. Looking around I see my charger and pack that too. Once I have everything I leave and head over to Kota's.

Walking over to Kota's I see I have a ton of text messages and calls from the guys. With out reading any of them I delete them all. I feel guilty for taking the time to figure things out and calm down but I need to start taking care of me. I knock on the front door and I am greeted with Irish soap smell, looking up at Mr. Blackbourne I try to smile. He grabs my hand and pulls me behind the side of the house and leads me to a path. He walks and I just follow him.

Finally he turns and looks me over, "Sam, I uh." He sighs and looks out at the trees. "I don't know what to do with you. Every time I think one of us gets through to you or we have proven we want you and need you in our family you pull a stunt like tonight. Instead of communicating with us you shut down and shut us out. I wish I could tell you everything will work out the way you want it to but I cant. I can't even promise that if you accept the offer the academy gives you that you'll be in our team. I can tell you that we will fight for you no matter what. I can't promise I'll fix things at your home, or that things won't get worse because truthfully they always can. I can promise to help pick up the pieces every time you fall and break. I can promise to be a phone call away whenever you need me. Sam what can I do for you?"

I stare at him mouth slightly open processing what he just said to me. I feel my face heat and I thank god it's dark outside.

"Mr. Blackbourne I am sorry about today, a lot has been going on and it has been hard for me to process everything. I just need you guys to understand I'm not running from you, well not entirely. I just need time to think and time to be alone."

He nods his head, gripping my fingers he pulls me into a hug and hugs me tightly. I breathe him in and wish this could last forever. He pulls away and smiles at me a real smile and my breath catches at the beauty of it. He pulls my hand and leads me back to the house. As I enter behind him I hear all the talking quiet down, looking around and noticing I'm now the center of attention I wave and smile.

"Hey guys so what are we doing on night two?" Gabriel smiles and holds up three movies, "Trouble tonight's horror movie night pick a movie." I walk over and pick a random movie, I sit next to Sean and Kota on the couch and smile as I look around at each of my guys. Let's hope the dream won't come to pass.