Can I Love You, Too (2)? a Dustin and Kelly Fanfiction

Chapter 5: Possibilities

Enjoy!

A few days later...

Dustin's POV

I decided that calling Dr. Benson would be the best thing to do and that's what I did. I called her office yesterday and made a last minute appointment to see her, and luckily, she had a spot open today, so I was going to see her today. Nobody knows that I was going to see her, and that's how I wanted it; I wanted to keep it to myself.

I pulled up to her office, and got out the car and made my way up to her floor. Once, I got off the elevator, I made my way to her office. I signed in, and was told that I could go ahead and make my way back to Dr. Benson's office. I approached her door and knocked on it waiting for her approval to enter.

"Dustin, come on in," she said as she got up from her desk and made her way towards her chair that was sitting across from the couch that I was going to be sitting in. I sat down across from her and made myself comfortable. "I'm surprised that you came back. It's been a long time since I've seen you."

I nodded. "Yeah, well last time, I wasn't really in a good place," I replied.

"Isn't that why you were here to begin with?" she asked.

"Yes, but I was kind of forced to be here. Now, I'm here because I want to be; I made the decision on my own."

She nodded. "That's good." She took out her notepad and pen and began writing some things down. "Tell me what's been happening since the last time I saw you."

I went down the line, telling Dr. Benson about Jayden being born and co-parenting with Loissa, and how Faith and I rekindled our friendship and finally got closure. She seemed to be happy about hearing this, but what I was about to tell her next would make her think otherwise. I told her about what happened between me and Faith a few days ago, and how I was feeling about the whole situation.

"So Dustin, how do you go from inviting her to help you with Jayden to saying you don't want to be her friend and kick her out?" she asked as she looked up from her notepad.

"I mean, that's not how I planned for it to go. After helping me with Jayden, I just wanted to talk to her, but every time she asks me how I'm doing, I realize that I'm not happy. I'm miserable, actually."

"Why do you feel miserable?" she asked.

"Because I can't have her the way that I want to; I always think about what would've been had I not been stupid, had I not pushed her into my brother's arms. She tells me not to blame myself, but I have no choice but to. I mean even at one point, she blamed me for all the things that's happened, which I can't be mad at her for because it was my fault, but telling me not to blame myself is what annoys me. Whether I blame myself or not, she's still with him, because of what I did. How could I not blame myself?"

I was getting pissed and upset just thinking and talking about it; my emotions were running at an all time high.

"It gets worse because when I saw her interacting with Jayden, it just brings up memories of when she thought she was pregnant and then finding out she wasn't. Everything that I had with Loissa, I wanted to have with Faith. If I would've told her my feelings a long time ago, things would be fine. I would be happy," I explained. She wrote some stuff down, and then looked up at me.

"What is blaming yourself going to do Dustin? It's happened and it's in the past. You've got to let it go and be happy," she said.

"That's just it. I can't get over something like this. I love that woman so much, and I've fucked everything up and I've got to live with that for the rest of my life," I said.