JugHead x Reader

The Light To My Darkness

Word Count: 1239
Warnings: Depression, Self Harm (might be triggering), Cursing,
A/N: this could actually be triggering, so please my babies, read at your own risk! Alrighty now listen up, this was kind of hard for me to write. It's hits a little too close to home on some topics, but I'm a tough ass bitch and I know you guys are too, so if you're having problems and you're going through some shit,  and things just seem like it's not going to get any better, just know it does. And if you ever need a friend to talk to, bitch I got you. I don't bite, I may be ginger but I've got some kind of a soul so I'll be nice. Alright? Cool cool. Much love ❤️

Requested: if it's not too graphic or triggering, could you write an imagine where Juggie finds out that "y/n" self harms and is suicidal

     Y/N didn't know when the suicidal thoughts started, at some point in the shit show that was her life they just kind of appeared. They were like an itch she couldn't scratch, a small tiny voice she couldn't shut up. They were exhausting, just trying to fight them took up much of her energy and strength. No one knew she had them though, she didn't feel it was important to share. Truth be told she was scared to tell anyone. If there was one person in this world she would ever trust with this information though, it would be her boyfriend, Jughead Jones. But even then, she felt like it would be a burden to place that information on him, a worry he didn't need, so she kept it to herself.
     After awhile, the thoughts just made her feel numb and Y/N hated it. She wanted to feel something, anything. She started cutting, small cuts at first and very few of them, just so she could feel something. So she could be the one to control any pain she felt in that moment. She had control of her life, her body in that moment, it was almost like a high. But like most highs, she fell down, and small cuts became bigger and the few became many. It wasn't so much about control anymore to her either, she started to feel like she deserved the pain. Sadly and silently, she suffered alone in her room at night, tears on her pillow and razors to her skin.
Jughead recently had started to notice that she seemed off, she wore a lot of long sleeved shirts, and anytime they hung out watching movies or cuddled in her bed, she never wore her shorts anymore. Jughead was confused, because Y/N always hated long sleeved shirts and pants. She'd always claim they were 'too restricting', which would make him laugh. He tried asking about it, but she immediately wrote it off and shut down, unlike anything he'd ever seen before. His thoughts turned to the worst, and he was scared.
Jughead had known for a long time her home life was shitty, and he did his absolute best to be there with her anytime she was home. And when he wasn't, he was worried sick. It was constant yelling and fighting from everyone in the family, and Y/N would often go into her room and lay in bed to try to distract herself. He knew it was real bad when one night she called him saying she couldn't go to sleep, because the yelling had become her lullaby and the house was quiet.
     Jughead decided tonight he would surprise her at her house, give her cheering up she had been needing. He got burgers and fries from Pops, popcorn and candy from the store, a few of her favourite movies, and a blanket he owned that she loved so much that she tried to steal a few times.
     Walking up to her house, he saw that  her parents car was gone, and he tried the front door to find it unlocked. He quietly crept inside, locking the door behind him because he knew her parents would appreciate that, and made his way upstairs. Y/Ns door was cracked open, and Jughead could have sworn he heard sniffling. Quietly, he tip toed to her door and peered in. He saw Y/N sitting on her bed, a razor to her wrist and she cut. He watched as she cried and the blood dripped down her arm.
     "Y/N!" He yelled, busting through the door and running to her. He ripped the razor out of her hand as carefully as he could and grabbed her face to look at him. "Are you crazy? What are you doing?!" he yelled, but she just continued to cry. Running to the bathroom, he found the first aid kit under the sink and ran back into the room. He quickly cleaned the cuts, and dressed them, all the while mumbling things like 'you're never doing this again.' and 'why would you do this?' When he was finished, he sat on the edge of the bed, facing Y/N, but she wouldn't look at him.
     "Please look at me." he begged, but she just shook her head, quietly crying. "How long have you been doing that?" he asked quietly, reaching for her arm that was now bandaged.
     "A month or so." she whispered. Jughead took hold of her wrists and kissed both of them.
     "Don't ever do that again." he said sternly, but quietly. "Listen to me, I know this shit is tough, and I know life is unfair and the shit you're going through right now seems like it won't ever end, but trust me, there is a light at the end of your tunnel, Y/N. I need you to realize that these cuts do nothing for you. All they do is hurt your body, they cannot fix the pain you feel on the inside, they cannot stop your problems from fucking up your life, all they do is make you bleed and leave you with scars that will do nothing but remind you of the bad times. When you're older, and you've got your life figured out, and you're finally happy and out of the situation you're in now, do you really want to look at your wrists and be reminded of your pain? You can't move on if your constantly reminded of it." he said, brushing her hair behind her ears. Y/N shook her head, tears falling and staining the bed sheets.
     "You don't understand Juggie-"
     "You're right, I don't understand. I can never go through what you go through, but that doesn't mean I can't try to understand, try to help you. And I'm telling you right now that this..." Jughead held up her wrists in front of her face. "Is not helping." Y/N dropped her arms and leaned into Jughead, and he wrapped his arms around her tight.
     "Talk to me Y/N! Talk to somebody, just please, leave your beautiful body alone." he begged, squeezing her tight.
     "I promise." she sobbed, and Jughead kissed the top of her head. He got up and threw the blanket at Y/N, and grabbed the snacks and movies. Y/N giggled as she wrapped the blanket around herself.
     "You brought my favourite blanket." she said, sniffling and smiling.
     "I did. And your favourite movies, candy, and burgers." Jughead smiled, setting the movie up on his laptop.
     "Thank you." She said, leaning over and kissing Jughead on the cheek. "I'm gonna steal this blanket someday, Jones." she giggled, and Jughead rolled his eyes.
     "Tell you what, in 2 years when we both move out, I'll propose and we'll move in together. Anywhere in the world, just you and me, no family problems, no dumb ass school, and we'll share the blanket." he said, leaning back on the headboard and pulling Y/N into him.
     "Deal." Y/N said, snuggling into Jughead. For the rest of the night, Jughead ate and snuggled with Y/N, and when she fell asleep on him, he didn't dare to move. He slept easy that night, knowings she was safe.