BAMM. I shot my head up to witness an Alan dying of laughter. Rolling my eyes at him, I composed myself.
"Editing?" he asked as he sat down in the chair facing me. I nodded my head, truth be told I was tired, I was pulling long nights to edit the pictures of Tokio Hotel for their promos. I didn't even realize I fell asleep until Alan came. I was focused on editing when Alan got up and left without a warning, I tried to figure out where he could have gone, but the wall in the way blocked my view. I shrugged it off and got back to editing. I had finished all band shots, Bill's, and Tom's solo shots. Currently wrapping up, Gustavs singles, I had saved the "best" for last. Opening the folder of his pictures, I scrolled through each of them, mentally choosing which one to start. Just looking at him made me nervous. For some reason, I felt as I had to be extra editorial with his pictures. I zoomed into his face and began this painful process. Seconds after I began, a cup of Starbucks was placed right in front of me.
"Thank you, Alan," I dragged out as I took a sip from the coffee. Alan let out a small giggle before sitting once again in front of me.
"What time's the meeting?" I asked, not losing focus on my editing. I could head Alan shuffle into his bag, for which I assume meant he was looking for his planner. I mentally chuckled at him, he was always so disorganized but organized at the same time. But between me and him, rest well knowing that he won't forget about your appointments, while I let it slip from my mind.
"Ah, ha, it is at 5," he said as he opened his textbooks. My eyes flashed to the corner of my laptop, it was currently 3:45, meaning that I had an hour and fifteen minutes to get this together for Mark. Alan and I sat quietly as he studied for an exam and I did photo touch-ups, there was a slight sound of music playing from his phone. I bobbed my head to the soft drum beats, singing softly to the song.
"Are you ok?" Alan commented. Looking up to face him, I noticed the concern in his eyes. "Tom told me about Rivers. I know that eventually, you would tell me but you just seem out of it even if you act normal."
"Do I really look so distant?" I wondered since I felt okay, well for the most part.
"Well no. That's the thing. I know how broken River leaving left you, so I figured that this would hurt you. You just seem too okay, and I'm not sure if it's genuine or an act" he said to me. I looked down t my laptop unsure of what to say.
"I don't know, I guess I try not to think about because it brings back bad memories," I said turning off my computer to talk to him. "It took me a long time to get over it. Yes, I always wondered what happened to her but she seems to be doing fine without us. So I guess why should I stress over it?"
Alan scratched his face, before turning to me. His face saying it all. He didn't agree with me. He thought that it would be better to think about and reach out to her. But I wasn't going to and even he couldn't change my mind about.
"Don't. I'm not going to contact her. Two years ago we agreed that we wouldn't talk about this again. So don't break that agreement," it was a decision we had made because he knew of much it hurt me.
"Tana, we were going to have to talk about it sometime. You can't keep it all inside and act if it's okay," he said looking me caringly.
"There's nothing to talk about. Rivers left because she wanted to. She left us and hasn't tried to make any contact with us, so why should I? So she can reject me. No thanks, I don't need old wounds to reopen. So no thanks. My mom and Elijah and I have made it this far without her we continue that way," the words felt bitter on my tongue. Even though I meant them I knew that they was some truth to his argument but I was too prideful to admit it to him.
"Tana, there's more to that, it's everything that happened after that. The way you are now is because of that, you made yourself this stone person and that's not right. You prefer to bury yourself under photos because you're too scared to talk about how you feel. The moment that someone brings it up, you get mad for us caring. I understand that you went through hard things, but you're not a little kid anymore. It's time to face it and suck it up," I had never heard Alan talk to me like this, and the truth was that it hurt. I closed my laptop not caring to save my work, and left without saying anything.
"Montana." I heard Alan call behind as I simply continued walking away.
"Fuck you and your opinion," I said raising my middle finger behind me.
YOU ARE READING
Temporary (Georg Listing Fanfic)
Fanfiction"Georg I can't keep doing this," I said softly. "Tana, you know I can't," he said stroking my cheek, wiping my tears in the process. I pushed his hand out my face and take a step back. "I know," I said walking away.
