End Zone (An Austin Mahone Fanfiction)

18. Nothing

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For geepaaa1241, also known as Olivia, who's been here from the very beginning, supporting, voting and commenting on every chapter. Love you baee xx

Eliza's POV

I woke this morning unsure of how I felt about the night before. Everything from that moment was clear as day,  but it was all a blur when I asked myself why I let it happen.

This kiss was different from the first one. But what sucked the most was that he'd probably just act like it never even happened.

He'd just act so oblivious to it. This why I never took him up on the offer before when I first met him. He told me to kiss him and I said no at the time not because I was disgusted by him, but because I knew he'd forget about it and I'd be stuck there,  thinking about how it felt for weeks.

I don't even know if I hate him anymore. I don't even know if I like having him around. I've never been in a situation like this before. It was so embarrassing when he had to teach me what to do. He knew I didn't know anything about what I was doing.

I'm such an idiot. What's wrong with me?

I'm such a hypocrite.  I told myself I wouldn't ever go that low and do something like that. 

Then again at the time, I didn't know it was going to happen.

I could still feel his lips on mine.

At least I understood partially why girls liked him so much.

I hate myself for even thinking that.

Why are you fighting it for?

I'm not fighting it, its wrong.

Says who?

Me.

Why?

Because if I go in too deep, no one will pull me back out.

Trust me, it's not as bad as it seems.

How do you know that?

Well I'm the part of your conscience that's supposed to help you get what you want but you're so stubborn and blind you don't even know what you want anymore.

Shut up. I don't want him. I'm not fighting with myself for anything or anyone. I know that I don't want anything to do with him, period. I'm going to do what I have to in order to get home to my family.

I looked at the time, it was 10:45 am. It was a beautiful sunny day. I should at least go practice today. I'm still nervous about this. Everything is about me now.

To think, if I had just waited for Noah that day, I wouldn't be in this situation. I wouldn't be here, fighting, being reckless, hurting people and hurting myself. I'd be at home, studying for a test, oblivious to Andrea's secret life and I'd be safe.

Its been three and a half agonizing months. And if Austin hadn't called off the bet, that kiss would have been a step closer to him getting what he wanted.

But everything is so different now. He's starting to apologize and be considerate, which doesn't make any sense knowing how he usually acts.

And what he said to me before he kissed me.

'Don't fight it this time.'

Fight what?

I'm not fighting anything.