Seeing Through the Cracks

Chapter 33

It's Father's Day, and Brian heads into the city to spend the afternoon and evening hanging with Nick and Jake. He tells me later that they snooped through the shops in Nick's neighbourhood and then enjoyed a dinner together. I love it when the guys spend time together, and wish there were more of those moments. Brian spent so much of Nick and Jake's childhood working hard and travelling with his career that he missed out on many occasions to bond more closely with them. They all get along, that's not an issue, but their relationship is a little more superficial. When there are emotional issues to talk about, Nick and Jake generally still come to me to discuss them. Dad is the guy who is handy and can fix anything around the house that's broken; this is where he excels with problem solving. He's very attuned with crafting up innovative ideas for building, and has worked hard over the years to create our beautiful home, with his hands and his many tools. Brian also loves to cook and is a fabulous chef in the kitchen. Both Nick and Jake have learned to never be afraid to try their own hand at food prep, and Nick has gained a love for creating many of his own tasty feasts. The great thing is that although Brian doesn't often initiate spending time with our sons, he never refuses to when it's suggested by them or me. We still spend a great deal of family time as a group. And throughout the spring and summer we see the guys for more special holidays, dinners in the city, and extended family gatherings.

With Jake now finding a good rhythm between work and play and living the city life with Nick, I am able to finally relax and focus more on work, fitness, friendships, and my relationship with Brian. I continue to keep pace with my fitness buddy and good friend Cindy, participating in exercise classes three mornings a week and also doing our daily power walk. We use this time to talk out whatever is bothering us and to share the mini-victories in our lives, to bounce ideas off of each other and to laugh about life, as much as we can. We know that no family is perfect and there are always kinks to work out, but we have a good idea what it takes to keep the pulse of our families flowing in a healthy direction. Cindy has daughters and one of them is in university, so she understands the grind and the anxieties that come with keeping our kids motivated. At least a couple times a week I receive a text from Jake describing with great excitement tidbits about what projects he's working on at his summer job. It is during my walks with Cindy that I share these and we both have a good giggle. It's all technology talk and it is way beyond our comprehension, but sounds very impressive. And we know that Jake is thoroughly engaged and captivated by it, so it serves two purposes. It entertains us, and it also gives us a sense that Jake has settled in, is happy, and is thriving. Jake knows we enjoy it, knows we get a laugh, and so he keeps them coming. Since Cindy has been along for the ride, as one of my confidants through Jake's crisis, she is invested in hearing about his successes almost as much as I am. I am blessed to have that kind of reinforcement.

The last month has been a bit of a reprieve for me in terms of Jake's care and supervision, but it certainly hasn't been a time of ease for me, personally. There's no escaping whatever other stresses life throws at us, even while we're dealing with a big issue. While I am aware of all that is needed for me to continue to monitor Jake's progress, I also understand my need for self care. I count my blessings that Jake is in a safe place with his brother, and know that there are still months and years ahead of me supporting Jake through the remainder of his university career.

I take this time to exhale just a little bit.

For now.  

Thank you for following my story. Don't forget to vote on this chapter, if you enjoyed it (click the star on the bottom left). I also welcome your feedback.