Idiosyncrasies of a Shadow // (ManxMan)

~Chapter 30~

            

A/N: Brace your buttholes because this one is intense. Contains the proverbial human pistoning, so please proceed with caution, make sure grandma or Aunt Natalie isn't 5 meters away from you.

Again, in laymen terms. This contains sex, if you don't like it, don't read it. If you want to whine, refer to any one of the parents of my lovely characters (except Papa Cook), takes a bitch to know a bitch, ja'feel?

[Roman]

*~*~*

Letting go is not loosing,

Loosing is not forgetting,

Forgetting is not erasing.

Reality exists to be real,

To reconnect with the reality;

Is to reconnect with the truth.

And in reconnecting with the truth,

One may regain something they have

Let go, lost or forgotten.

*~*~*

"Thank you so much for doing that Owen, you too Skylar, your voice is amazing." Aaron compliments, given each of them a smile and a quick hug. Skylar clings on for a little longer, whispering into Aaron's ear, who smiles wide and pulls away. "Thanks Sebastien, Felix." They get hugs too.

Being able to stand without the fear of my own emotions is rejuvenating, like turning over a new leaf. Except it's more like rekindling something I've forgotten. "Don't fuck too hard. Save that for Valentine's." Sebastien winks, making Aaron push his shoulder. "Little ole' Sebastien isn't getting any this Valentine's." He pouts.

"Can we not talk about doing the thing in the middle of the street." Skylar waves his hands, Owen looks deep in thought, he catches me looking and flashes a smile. Skylar jumps up and wraps his arms around my neck, dangling in front of me like a monkey. "I'm proud of you Roman." I hug him back, then set him down to go his way.

I have to say, if I wasn't 10 feet deep in love right now, I'd tap Skylar's ass any day of the week. He looks hot in a suit. But then again, I have my own little luxury that's in a suit all the time. "Let's go dipshit." Aaron takes my tie in his hand and pulls me to walk. I'm not annoyed, at least I don't think so. All I can do is smile and I feel as if I've already pulled 7 different groups of muscles because I'm so not used to smiling.

"How'd you like the little cheese."

"Boy, if that's little I'm going to need the whole Walmart's worth of cheese dip to compensate." He lets go of my tie, looping his arm around mine and taking my hand. He seems to be freezing so I shove both hands into my pocket and hope that the terribly cold air doesn't get to us. "But what you said. That's very admirable and impressive. I loved it."

"At least my innately sarcastic nature has a use other than pissing everyone and their mothers off." I sigh contently, glad that it's over. There were a lot of nerves involved, Skylar said it doesn't matter if I didn't do something big like that, Aaron wouldn't mind. But I need him to know I really am sorry and willing to change. And the only way I knew how, masochistically, is to humiliate myself and share my story to everyone.

Aaron shows me to his car, his driver is waiting patiently at the side like a soldier. "Mark, you really don't have to stand in the cold." He smiles sadly, he's never told me much about Mark, but I know that they come from some sort of friendship.

"Professionalism, sir." He smiles, "Congratulations on the event, I heard it was a big success. And I am glad you have found someone." He looks at me with the same smile. I nod, not returning it, being in touch with my emotions in my case doesn't translate to having everything intact. I'm still learning, so it doesn't mean I have to betray my cynicism and smile at everyone. Cynicism has been with me for too long, I'm not going to abandon an old friend.