She's Not Afraid

"I Don't Know Where To Start"

"Hey," Liam said looking up from his desk, as Sofia and Harry walked in his office, "I didn't think you'd be awake..."

"We got your text," Sofia said, "You wanted to talk?"

"I didn't mean like right this moment," Liam said, "It's bit early for the two of you, isn't it?"

"It's alright, we wanted to talk to you anyway..." Sofia said

"You," Harry said, looking at her pointedly, "You wanted to talk to him."

"Okay, well sit down," Liam said, Sofia sat Indian styles on the couch in Liam's office, while Harry sat next to her, Liam walking around his desk to take a seat in a chair.

"Look," Liam said, "I was talking to Zayn and Niall last night, and we think with Sikes getting away – and not knowing how injured or powerful or where he is, you should back off from jobs. Emily and Daisy are willing to step up – we just think you should lie low. It's only until we figure out what's going on and I don't want you to get too upset, and I know you probably aren't happy abou –"

"Okay," Sofia said, interrupting the entire speech that Liam had planned out, and surprising him.

"Okay?" Liam asked, looking at his sister like she was crazy.

"That's what I said," Sofia said

"This is okay with you?" Liam said, still not buying it

"Yes," Sofia said, "Actually that fits in well with what I wanted to talk to you about.."

"Okay, but first," Liam said, "About today. I think you, Niall, Harry, and me should go back to the house – look around – try and find stuff. I think Zayn and Danny should go around, see if anyone saw Sikes last night. And while they're doing that, I think Lou, El, and Dani should start looking into group homes for Birdie. They would be best at that, don't you think?"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about, Liam..." Sofia said, as Harry stayed quiet.

"Oh did you want to go to the group homes?" Liam asked, "I suppose you did, you are so close to the girl. Well, I suppose Niall, Harry, and I can handle the house on our own while you figure out what to do with Birdie.."

"I've already figured it out," Sofia said, catching her brother's attention.

"Oh, you did?" Liam asked, "What's that?"

"I want to keep her," Sofia said, causing Liam's mouth to fall open in surprise. He glanced at Harry who still hadn't said anything, and wasn't looking at him, but at the ground.

"You want to what?" Liam asked

"I want to keep her," Sofia said

"She's not exactly a pet, Sofia," Liam said, "She's a child, you can't just take her in like you would a stray cat. She needs love, and discipline, and family, and stability..."

"I understand that, Liam," Sofia growled, "And I think that she would be best suited here. What's the point in putting her in a group home when she can get a family here? She feels safe here, she likes me..."

"It's not about whether she likes you or not, Sofia!" Liam snapped, "She's a four year old child! This would change your entire world, do you understand that?"

"Yes!" Sofia argued, "Liam, I've given this a lot of thought. She doesn't have anybody! We have more then enough family and love around here..."

"We're a gang, Sofia," Liam hissed, "This is hardly the environment for a child..."

"David will be a four year old," Sofia said, "Louis and Eleanor will have a four year old one day! They are children!"

"That's different," Liam said, "David is blood, he is family... same with Louis and Eleanor's child..."

"I didn't know we had to be blood in order to be family...." Sofia said, "Especially around here." Liam closed his mouth, knowing that she had a point. They had created a family, and none of it was based around blood. As he looked into Sofia's eyes as she argued for Birdie – he saw a look he had seen before. It was the look his mother got when he fell and scraped his knee the first time, and the look that Danielle got every time she felt one of the boys was being a little too rough in their play with David. He looked into Sofia's eyes and saw a protective mother. And it rocked Liam to his core, because this was his little sister. And here she was, ready to take on a child. Something Liam didn't know if she would ever be able to do, and certainly not now. But she was doing it, and Liam saw that no matter what he said – or did – or argued, he wasn't going to win. Birdie was staying.

"Okay," Liam relented, "We'll try it... take it day by day... see how it goes..."

"Thank you," Sofia said, standing up and walking from the office. Liam turned back to Harry who was just sitting there, still silent like he had been the entire time.

"What do you think about this?" Liam asked, "This is going to effect you the most, what did you say to her?"

"I asked her how she expected me to play the role of dad to a child I didn't even know," Harry said

"And what did she say?" Liam asked

"She said that she didn't think Birdie was going to wake up calling us mummy and daddy tomorrow, and that she just wanted to take care of her. She said she wasn't expecting me to be a parent – just to support her on this..."

"And you agreed?" Liam asked

"Your sister lost a child this year already, Liam," Harry said, "I wasn't going to take another one away from her. She's really attached to Birdie – and maybe that means something. I don't know, she does need someone, right?"

"Yes," Liam said, nodding, "But that doesn't mean that you have to do something you don't want to – if you aren't sure about this Harry, you should say something..."

"When we got in bed last night, Birdie had fallen asleep right in the middle of the bed. So, like, Sof and I had to get in on either side of her. And Birdie just automatically curled into Sofia, who fell asleep real fast. And I was up, thoughts running wild and having doubts, and thinking Sofia was crazy – and then I looked down and saw Birdie and Sofia, and I don't know – in that moment – I just stopped freaking out. I felt like this split second of peace wash over me. And I thought, maybe, this is right..."

"You still seem unsure," Liam said, "What's up?"

"I just don't know how to approach Birdie, do I approach her like a father – a brother? I don't have the connection Sofia does ... I don't know where to start...."

"Start where Sofia did," Liam said, "Start by being her friend..."


***

"But Birdie, you don't have too, I promise," Ella said to the child, who was standing in the middle of the kitchen.

"What's going on?" Sofia asked, walking in with Harry and Liam. Niall was sitting on the counter, making toast. Zayn, Emily, and Eleanor were at the table, watching as Ella tried to talk to Birdie, while Louis leaned against the fridge – a smirk on his face.

"Birdie won't eat," Ella said, turning to Sofia, a look on distress on her face. Sofia looked to the stove, seeing that Ella was making pancakes.

"Don't you like pancakes?" Sofia asked, Birdie

"I haven't done any chores yet," Birdie said, "And even though Uncle Lou and Aunt Ella said I didn't have to, I'm not allowed to eat until I do chores..."

Harry stepped towards the child, but stopped immediately when the child flinched back, lifting her hands to protect her head and Harry realized that she thought he was going to hit her. He paused, looking to Sofia for help. Sofia ignored Birdies hands, and picked her up.

"You don't have chores here," Sofia said, resting the child on her hip, "You're job is to be a kid. Did you say Uncle Louis?"

"That's what he told me to call him, and that's what everyone else said too," Birdie explained, Sofia looked over at Louis – who had a very proud smile on his face.

"I see," Sofia said, cautiously, "Well you can just call them what you want... don't let Louis boss you around."

"Do I have to call you Aunt Sofia?" Birdie asked, "I've always called you Sofia..."

"And you can keep calling me, Sofia," Sofia said, placing the child on the counter. Harry looked at Birdies legs and arms, which in the daylight looked much worse. He felt a wave of anger and frustration wave over her.

"What about you, Harry?" Birdie asked him, quietly

"You can call me Harry," Harry said, "Why don't we get you some fruit until the pancakes are ready?"

"But what about chores?" Birdie asked, still confused

"We told you," Louis said, scooping the child up, "No chores. Just play." Louis sat in a chair with the child, while Harry brought her over some strawberries.

"Birdie," Danielle said, "I want you to meet someone..." Danielle was carrying David, which made Birdie's eyes go wide and a smile appear on her face.

"I was going to give him some cheerios," Danielle said, as she put David in his high chair next to Birdie, "Would you mind watching him while he eats?"

"Okay!" Birdie said excitedly, reaching out to the baby, who grabbed her finger and giggled. Birdie giggled in return, and began talking playfully to the child.

"You know, Birdie," Eleanor said, "I think you're gonna fit right in around here..."

"Ouch," Sofia hissed, as she misstepped and a pain shot through her leg.

"You know, I was going to invite you to go to the toy store with me and Birdie," Louis said, "But I think you should stay off your leg..."

"Your going to the toy store?" Harry asked, as he moved to help Ella

"And clothing store," Eleanor said, "Birdie needs new clothes..."

"Well, if your getting clothes," Danielle said, "I want to go, because David needs new stuff..."

"Well, Emily and I were talking, and we think that we should start thinking about setting up Birdies room – plus, Lou, we need to get stuff for the nursery," Zayn said, as Emily nodded along side him

"You're right," Louis said, "You should come..."

"Well, who's gonna be here with Ella? We're going to the house – and I don't want her here alone," Niall said, his eyes furrowed in confusion. Soon the entire kitchen was full of voices. Danielle and Eleanor discussing clothing. Niall and Louis arguing over Ella. Emily asking Sofia about Birdies room. Zayn trying to get Harry to agree to help with moving furniture. And Birdie chatting happily to David. It was chaotic and loud.

"Okay..." Liam said, "Guys..." but he got no ones attention, as everyone continued with their own conversations.

"TIME OUT!" Liam yelled, bringing the entire kitchen to silence, except David who giggled at his father.

"Okay, Dani, Zayn, Lou, Em, and El will go with the kids shopping. Niall, me, Sofia, and Harry are going to look into some of the stuff we have too. I'm going to send Danny and Daisy around town, see what they can figure out – and Ella I would love for you to join them because you come off as a people person, and you can probably get people to talk. Does that cover everybody?"

"I think so, but before any of that," Ella said, "Sofia and Zayn, you need to re bandage your wounds... so do that..."

"Yes," Eleanor said, "And we should get the kids dressed, it's cold..."

"The bag I bought yesterday has some stuff for her," Sofia said, pointing to Birdie, who was too busy making faces at David.

"I can get her ready," Eleanor said, "While you get ready..."

"Are you sure?" Sofia asked

"Yeah, absolutely," Eleanor said, "I need the practice, anyway..."

"Birdie, do you want more?" Harry asked, looking at the child's already empty place.

"I'm allowed seconds?" Birdie asked, looking up surprised, making Harry's stomach turn in disgust.

"You're allowed as much food as you want," Harry said, placing another pancake in front of her, before looking over at Sofia who was looking at Birdie with sad eyes. It was then that Harry realized exactly what Sofia wanted to do. He placed his hand on her shoulder, before leaning down to kiss her head.

"I love you so much," he mumbled into her head.



***



"Do you think she's alright?" Sofia asked, as they stepped out of the car, headed towards the house.

"She's fine," Harry said, "She's with some of the most protective people in the world – and they are probably spoiling her rotten..."

"Do you think she's upset I didn't go?" Sofia asked, looking up at Harry.

"No offense, Sof," Niall said, sliding up to them, "But once David was brought into the picture – I don't think she really cared about anything you did..."

"Thanks Niall," Sofia said, deadpanned as Harry laughed. Sofia looked up at the house, a chill running through her – she never wanted to see this house again. She was hoping last night would end everything, but it didn't. She followed Liam into the house, ignoring the bloodstains, as they walked further into the house.

"Niall, you take the office," Liam said, "You're good with the computers, Sofia you help him out, go through the paperwork and stuff. Harry and I will take his bedroom – and some of the other rooms..."

"And remember," Niall said, "If you find anymore kids, we're opening a orphanage..."

"Shut up, Niall," Sofia said, pushing him, as they walked towards the office.

They had spent about an hour in the office together, not saying much. Every once in awhile, Niall would throw a pencil at Sofia, and Sofia in return would tell him to go back to Ireland or to go fuck himself.

"Anything good in any of those?" Niall asked, as he started to delete everything off the computer.

"No," Sofia said, shaking her head, "Just looks like clients and stuff, nothing that would help us find him, I don't think..."

"We should pack it up anyway," Niall said, "Never know who might come in handy. Did you know he had access to his own plane?"

"No, but it doesn't surprise me," Sofia said, "He must make bank. He supplies a lot of the local dealers in the towns he's gotten..."

"Did you see anything about the Rats?" Niall asked, spinning the chair. Sofia shook her head again.

"So, you serious about Birdie?" Niall asked, his eyebrows raised

"You never did know how to gracefully start a conversation," Sofia said, shaking her head at him.

"I like to get to the point..." Niall said

"Yeah, I'm serious..." Sofia said, quietly, "Do you think I'm crazy?"

"Yes," Niall said, causing Sofia to frown, "But that has nothing to do with Birdie." Sofia huffed, before sending a stapler flying at his head, which he just narrowly missed.

"That's very motherly of you," Niall scoffed

"I found this," Sofia said, handing a small card up to Niall. It was a driver's license, "It's Birdie's mom, Abigail..."

"Why would he have this?" Niall asked

"I don't know, but it has her address on it," Sofia said, "I mean, what if he didn't kill her? What if she's alive..."

"You want to check it out?" Niall asked, looking up at Sofia, "You know if she's there, you have to give Birdie back, right?"

"Yeah," Sofia said, nodding, "I just want to know for sure. Before this goes any further..."

"I think that's a good idea," Harry said, appearing in the doorway, and surprising them both.

"We can go look after we're done here," Liam said, "But, uh, let's get all this shit packed up. And then I want to search the house for weapons... I don't want him coming back and finding anything..."

"Liam, do you think he's going to come back?" Niall asked, "We wiped out all of his big guys... he's got no support system left..."

"I don't know if a guy like him needs a support system..." Liam said, "I just want to cover all our bases..."



***


"That house was no place a child should live," Harry said, disgusted as he drove the car back home. Sofia sat in the passengers seat.

"I know," Sofia said quietly

"It was filthy and there were just bottles of alcohol everywhere, not to mention needles," Harry spat out, his knuckles white on the wheel, "There was no food, and I don't think she paid the water bill – because there wasn't any running water, I mean, Jesus. Didn't she care about her daughter at all?"

"She was a drug addict involved with one of the most dangerous men ever," Sofia said, "I don't know if she cared about herself, let alone her daughter."

"Well, I guess we got our answer..." Harry said, "I guess she's dead..." They pulled up to the house, watching as Liam and Niall got out of the car in front of them. Harry sighed, before opening his door, and Sofia followed him.

"I can't believe it's 7 pm already," Harry said, shaking his head, "It's been a long day. I'm exhausted."

The four of them made their way into the kitchen, but it was empty. The house was very quiet, causing them to look at each other curiously.

"It's quiet," Niall said

"Too quiet..." Liam said, "Come on..."

"Always such a dad," Sofia mumbled to herself, as she followed her brother through the house. When they got to Harry and Sofia's part of the house, they heard noise and voices.

"Much better," Liam said, sighing, as he swung open the door to Sofia and Harry's apartment. Everyone was in there. Danielle was on the couch, feeding David. Eleanor and Ella were in the kitchen, putting take away in dishes, while Emily set the table.

"What the?" Harry asked

"Sofia!" Birdie squealed, running down the hallway, "Come look! You have to see!"

Sofia allowed the child to take her hand and pull her down the hallway, when she stopped at the guest room door. Pushing the door open, Sofia stepped inside – her eyes widened when she saw all new furniture and toys. The color purple standing out – it looked just like a little girls room. She noticed Louis was just putting up the final shelf on the book shelf, and Zayn was putting up boxes in the closet – which was now full.

"Oh my god," Sofia gasped, turning to Harry who also looked just as surprised.

"Can you believe it?" Birdie asked, looking up at her.

"How much money did you guys spend?" Harry asked, looking at Louis sternly.

"Doesn't matter," Louis said, "This little girl is set for life with this room."

"Uncle Louis says it's all mine!" Birdie said, jumping up on the bed, and smiling widely.

"Don't jump on the bed," Sofia said, "It's not safe." All five boys froze along with Sofia when they heard her say it. Sofia blinked a few times, not believing that those words had actually come out of her mouth. It was like something else took over. She looked at Harry, who was smiling widely at her.

"Now you know how it feels," he said, causing Sofia to roll her eyes.

"Do you like it?" Birdie said, running towards them, Sofia picked her up quickly.

"The important question, is do you?" Sofia asked

"I love it!" Birdie squealed, "And Uncle Zayn says that I'll be the best dressed girl around..."

"I'm sure you will be if he was the one shopping for you," Sofia said, glancing at Zayn.

"Dinner!" they heard Ella call from the front room.

"Hey Birdie, who did your hair?" Harry asked

"Aunt Eleanor, after I helped Aunt Danielle give David a bath," Birdie said.

"It looks nice," Harry said, pulling out a chair as Sofia placed Birdie on it.

"Can David sit next to me?" Birdie asked, looking at Danielle hopefully.

"I was going to put him on a blanket in the living room, since he already ate..." Danielle said, causing Birdie to frown.

"I'll take him," Liam said, "And we'll both sit next to you Birdie..."

"If we aren't careful, she'll be the most spoiled child in all the UK..." Harry said quietly to Sofia, looking at the table

"Oh, I know you, Harry," Sofia said, "You don't let anyone get too spoiled..." She smiled and winked at him, before pulling him into the kitchen to help her get everyone drinks.



***



Harry walked into the apartment after helping the boys unpack what they had found at Sike's home. He could hear the shower running as he slipped off his shoes, and walked into the livingroom. Looking over at the tv, he saw Birdie in front of it watching a cartoon, with cookies in front of her.

"Who gave you cookies?" Harry asked, sitting on the couch behind her, Birdie looked up at him with a sly grin – reminding him of Sofia.

"Sofia," Birdie said, "She's in the shower."

"Cookies before bed," Harry mumbled, "Clearly we're going have to
discuss some things..."

Birdie had turned back to the cartoon playing in front of her, and after
a few minutes Harry recognized it as Cinderella.

"When did we get Cinderella?" Harry asked, more to himself then to her.

"Uncle Louis bought it," Birdie said, as she climbed on to the couch, "He bought a lot of movies..."

"Of course he did," Harry said, watching as Birdie pulled a blanet down on top of herself and yawned. Neither of them said anything, just sat silently watching the movie together, but Birdie began to drift off, and it wasn't long, before her head was on Harry's leg and she was fast asleep. Harry used the remote to turn off the television, before looking down at the girl, thinking about how best to move her without waking her up.

Gently he pulled his leg from under her, using his hands to ease her head onto the couch. Standing up as quietly as he could, Harry lifted the little girl with ease into his arms. He hadn't noticed just how little she was until she was in his arms. He didn't think it was normal for a four year old to be this little, but that could have been due to the lack of food and nutrition in her life.

"Is she asleep?" Sofia whispered, surprising Harry. He nodded at her.

"I'll go put her in bed," Harry said, "Mind making us some tea?"

"Sure," Sofia said, watching as Harry carried the girl to her room. A few minutes later he was sitting at the counter while they waited for their tea to boil.

"Are you feeling better, now that we have everyones support?" Sofia asked, looking at him.

"I just don't want you to be disappointed if I can't be who you want me to be to her, she's not my child, Sofia..." Harry said, "She's not ours..."

"I know that," Sofia said, "And I don't expect anything from you, Harry. I promise. And neither does she. I just..."

"Want to be there for her," Harry said, "But I see the way you look at her. You want her to call you mum someday..."

"Maybe," Sofia said, "But I also know that might never happen. I might be Sofia to her forever. But at least I know she's safe and no one can hurt her again. Did you see her legs?"

"Yeah," Harry said, nodding, "And you're right, at least as long as she's hear she's safe. I just don't want you to be disappointed if this doesn't turn out the way you want it to..."

"I think you're really good with her," Sofia said, "If that makes you feel better..."

"I haven't done much. I didn't buy her clothes, or toys, or furniture. I didn't spend the day with her. All I did really, was watch part of a lousy movie with her..." Harry said, his voice unsure

"And you put her to bed, without waking her up," Sofia said, smiling, "That's something."

"You're crazy," Harry said.

"Crazy for you," Sofia said, leaning over and kissing him, "Thank you for giving this a chance..."

"I would do anything for you," Harry said, honestly

"I know, but this was huge," Sofia said, "And it means the world to me...."

It wasn't long after that that Sofia and Harry had settled into bed, and fallen asleep. It had been a long two days, and all their heads had to do was touch the pillow and they were out, both letting a dreamless sleep take over, and as they layed entangled together.

It was the small hiccup that woke Harry up, his eyes blinking as he heard sniffling. As his eyes adjusted to the light, he realized that Birdie was standing on the side of their bed.

"Birdie?" he whispered, "What's the matter?"

"Sorry," she sniffled, wiping a tear from her face, "I just woke up and I
was scared..."

"Scared of what?" Harry said, sitting up, the girl stepped back in fright, and Harry realized she thought she was in trouble.

"Sorry for waking you," Birdie said, "I didn't mean too.."

"Don't be sorry," Harry said, reaching out for her, "Come on," Birdie moved into his arms, and he effortlessly lifted her into the bed with him.

"There's nothing to be scared of," Harry said quietly to her, "I'll protect you..."

"Can I stay in here tonight?" Birdie asked, as Bingly jumped up on to the bed.

"Course you can," Harry said, not knowing what else to do. He moved the blanket, so that Birdie could crawl underneath it. He expected her to curl into Sofia, who hadn't woken up at all. But instead, Birdie rested her cheek on Harry's chest. Harry could feel her tears, so he wrapped his arm around her.

"Go on, go to sleep, Birdie," he whispered, watching as she closed her eyes a bit, "You're safe now."